Why do we need a wedding?

in the ending of Sex and the City, the literary queen in Vivian Westwood's custom wedding dress did not walk brightly down the aisle because her husband escaped halfway.

those who are afraid of weddings or even tired of all wedding customs cannot accept being played with like toy puppets and that their feelings have to be entangled with unrelated people. And I, once thought, I do not need a wedding, can not understand why to put so much energy into a feast for others.

but now I firmly believe that we must have a wedding before we get married.

A few years ago, I attended the wedding of my old best friend in Zhangjiajie. We stayed in a hotel together. Early in the morning on the first day, the makeup artist knocked on the door. She wore a western-style white gauze dress. She told me: we Tujia, marry a daughter, is a sad thing, so we can not do it with great fanfare. So I wear a white wedding dress, white is for me. That night, according to Tujia rules, all the female relatives of the family sat together on Sing. She sat right in the middle. No one can sing those old songs, so they sing the songs that everyone can sing. No KTV plays the accompaniment on the phone.

I forgot all the songs I sang. I only remember one song, and in the middle of it, she began to cry. Many people also burst into tears. In ancient times, when you married your husband, it was hard to give it back. Nowadays, my mother-in-law's family is no longer far away from the landscape. However, still can not stop that kind of atmosphere. There is no moment, do not know what is married.

at night, we put the dresser on the bed, and she said take a picture of it. Although it is not a Verawang, it may be the last time I wear it. The next day, in the early morning, it was still dawn, with a red skirt and a golden hairpin. Put on your makeup. A room is full of relatives. Take a picture with your parents, with your grandmother, with your aunt, with those who have watched her grow up since childhood.

near noon, I heard the sound of firecrackers downstairs and the hustle and bustle of musical instruments. When a group of men swarmed up, the room became crowded. In all kinds of noise, she and her mother hugged and cried, others were persuading, eye makeup is going to cry, do not miss the time, this is a happy event, or can not stop crying into tears of mother and daughter. Later, the bride was surrounded, walked down the stairs, and got in the wedding car. The firecrackers went off in unison again, and the crowd left for a real hustle and bustle.

The wedding is such a wonderful scene. We all thought we would be so tired of this secular noise, but, at their wedding, you can not see the noise at all.

I remember how my best friend's father read the speech on stage, with two words in every word: consignment. It doesn't matter whether the people off the stage hear clearly or not. Write down that word by word, and then read it word by word, this intertwined entrustment process, to him, is the most important. She said that for the first time in her life, she had heard her introverted father praise his daughter in such a high profile in front of so many people.

when I got married, my mother didn't cry. She's probably too busy to have time, and I don't expect her to cry either. All I remember is the goose feather snow at noon. Remember the familiar and unfamiliar faces that flashed by. I remember that at the wedding, he said: marriage is a new beginning of life, which is plausible. I remember the cup bumping exhibition downstairs, and we sang a duet on it: every day of my life.

in the hustle and bustle, there are naturally all kinds of ways of life, and the world is inherently noisy forever. They are concerned about whether the dishes are good enough, whether the tobacco and alcohol are good enough, and they are talking about second-hand gossip about weddings. None of this has anything to do with how you feel.

but only after such noise can we see the seriousness in each other's hearts, no matter how noisy it is outside, at that moment. In the hustle and bustle of complexity, grandeur, strangeness, and sadness, you are the quietest and clearer than ever before, who you entrust to, and who overlaps your life under the witness of others. Therefore, I believe that it is easier for those runaway brides and bridegrooms to find happiness after this battle because there is no time for you to see yourself more clearly.

in a country where there is such a lack of rituals today, we will lose a lot of opportunities for awareness. Disrespect for heaven and earth, disrespect for ghosts and gods, awareness of nature will be farther and farther away from us. Therefore, too many mistakes are due to hindsight. Therefore, we think that escape is the fastest leap forward. Therefore, we think that compromise is the quickest wisdom.

No one knows that only in all trivial things can we see simplicity, in all worldly things we can see secularity, and only in all noisy things can we see stillness. You just become lazy and regard capriciousness as freedom, escape as fun, and ease as peace.

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at the wedding of another old best friend of mine, her husband almost choked up and said: although he was not born on the same day in the same year, he asked to die on the same day in the same year. The audience burst into an uproar. Everyone remembered this sentence.

I have seen too many couples who parted ways because they could not cross all kinds of worldly customs before they were about to enter the marriage. Can't say, they don't love enough. Not every marriage that stands in front of people and is witnessed by others is true love. However, standing there, for most people, must be beyond hesitation, entanglement, cowardice, is a kind of desperation, is a real farewell.

if what you see in your heart at that moment is clarity, I believe you will feel a kind of pure happiness that you have never seen before. It has nothing to do with whether the marriage is by the sea, in the temple, under the blue sky and white clouds. It has nothing to do with whether the flowers are beautiful enough, the diamond ring shiny enough, or the wedding dress luxurious enough.

it was from the moment of my wedding that I realized how important the sense of ritual is to live. We need a grand gathering, a grand parting, and a grand parting. A big carnival, a grand chorus, and a grand gift are enough to make life rich.

from my best friend's marriage, I realized how important the sense of ritual is to live. Because after all, the heart needs a sense of drama to be complete. No matter happy or sad, no matter how ordinary days, you are also your heroine, need at some point, Jinchai head, crying.

for those boring aggrieved lives, what they lack is not luck or gain, but secularity and alienation. These people, too difficult to immerse themselves in happiness and happiness, always wander away from the crowd, outside themselves, thinking that they are awake and proud of their masks that are hard to take off. Therefore, you can never feel the joys and sorrows of the present, always pass by your true self, always repeating the past in the present, or perturbing the future in the present.

when you haven't experienced it, you judge and reject it. Therefore, you have missed too many beautiful encounters and clear encounters. This is your rejection of your own life.

Today I feel happier than I used to be. I think it is precisely because we learn to see simplicity in all complexity, freedom from vulgarity in all secularity, and stillness in all hustle and bustle. Therefore, I am no longer so easy to get tired of the world in the tedious secular hustle and bustle, and it is no longer so easy to be vulgar and humble.

so, please believe that those who cry at other people's weddings must be more likely to feel happier than those who sit on the sidelines.