What did I do in the year after I resigned?

in the past year, my happiness has not increased by 1 point, and my sadness has not decreased by 1 gram.

in September 2015, I resigned naked for the fifth time, when I was 26 years old and nearly three years old after graduating from college. After submitting 20 resumes, receiving 18 interview calls, and standing up to the interviewer 15 times, I made a stupid and wayward decision-I don't want to go to work, I want to be a standardized loafer.

so I removed all my resumes from the job search website, emptied hundreds of PPT files on my hard drive, and turned down my friend's invitation to start a business with me. I also deleted 23 people from Wechat, including 5 headhunters, 6 high school classmates who were about to get married, and 12 colleagues who disliked them before they quit. After doing the above, I bought 200 yuan worth of potato chips, preserved plums, and spicy duck neck, while watching "run!" "Brother", chasing "desperate Housewives", officially started my career as a homeless person.

I don't know when I formed the habit. You must eat when you watch American TV series, and you must keep your eyes fixed on American TV dramas when you eat. I even summed up a theorem: it is suitable to go with Lay's potato chips and Coca-Cola when watching Friends; to chew thin and crispy cookies when watching the good wife; if you happen to knock on five-spice melon seeds while watching Sherlock, then your understanding of the case will probably increase by 10%. When watching "bankrupt Sisters", it's best not to eat complex food that requires both hands, because the plot is getting more and more boring. I have to free up one hand to press fast forward. In the first month after my resignation, I watched desperate Housewives at the rate of 10 episodes a day. By the end of season 5, I had gained about 10 jin.

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in this way, I decided to get back in shape. First of all, I gave up the habit of snacks, but the side effect was to give up the hobby of watching American TV dramas, too. Then I listed a detailed exercise plan. On haze days, I stayed at home and danced Zheng Duoyan and jogged around the neighborhood when the air was bright. In early October, Beijing began to cool down methodically after a light rain, and the maple tree blushed overnight as if it had been seduced by the autumn wind. I especially love the golden ginkgo. Under the cover of the hazy street lamp, my field of vision is impacted by the full orange. I think Ye Saining's words "when the golden leaves fill my heart /and I am no longer young" are much inferior. The layers of yellow leaves are themselves a great poet! Or these autumn leaves are like siren sirens, who lure sailors on rocks and fall into the sea with their graceful songs, while the former lures me into a sudden loss of mind while running and then hits a telephone pole.

I don't know why I want to lose weight. I stay at home all day with very few people, and I do not need courtship. But the continuous decline in weight and the gradual tightening of muscle lines give me a sense of fullness that I can see and touch. When I read the Psychology of screenwriters by William Indick, there will probably be people who say disapprovingly, "Why are you reading this, you don't make a movie?" when I read "A preliminary study of Modern novel skills," some people will ridicule, "what's the use of reading this?" you can't be Jane Austen. But at least when I'm on a diet or running, no one will point the finger and say, "stop running, you can't be born with Victoria's Secret." I think I can probably understand the theory of "the usefulness of reading" and "the usefulness of losing weight" that many people believe in, because in the modern society where utilitarianism prevails, Golden House and Yan Ruyu are no longer in the classics, but in the trend of Internet entrepreneurship. On a certain road that people are flocking to.

but I like reading. Whenever I feel bored and hopeless, I see a collection of books in the bookcase and a bunch of "want to read" marked on Douban. I feel that life becomes as dynamic as a car filled with gas. Those unopened books are to my life like doors and windows waiting for me to open in a dark castle. When I was a little more energetic after not going to work, I plucked up the courage to eat some tweets, such as "Literary Theory", "second Sex", "Homer Epic" and …... Harry Potter. Every time I finish a book, I hate that my college time is still a little wasted. After all, these things should have been finished years ago. However, what is more, paradoxical is that reading makes me full of doubts and conjectures about life, fate, individuals, and the world. The windows in the dark castle are opened one by one, but the reflected sunlight is intertwined. Colorful but fascinated my eyes.

it is a bad thing to read and fall into nihilism. As weak-willed as I am, I am so stupid that I want to rely on books and movies to find answers to life. I use the behavior of the characters in novels and plays as a reference for my daily actions, only to find that this tends to make my life more chaotic. As a child of the Chinese Department, I have forgotten that the most fundamental task of literature is to ask questions, not to solve them. I paranoid hide in the world of literature and art to escape from reality, so many people call me "literary youth", but what they do not know is that "literature and art" have become the source of almost all misfortune in my life.

since I am not good at communicating with others, I began to use writing as an outlet for me to express my desire. From my resignation to May 2016, I have experienced a total of six rejections. I comforted myself, it's all right. It seems that a celebrity once said that you have to go through 300 rejections before you become a writer. I still need 294 times, and there is a long way to go. I have no desire to become a writer, and I have never been responsible for what I have written. When I am happy, I start to talk nonsense, and when my interest is low, I do not write a word for a month. Most of the articles I have written have not been reread or revised, and even my novels written word by word are too lazy to read through them. After all, life is limited, so waste your precious time on Dumas and Cao Xueqin.

if I have made any obvious progress in the period since I resigned, it is that I have learned cooking. After constant practice and exploration in the kitchen room, I finally expanded my cooking skills from making instant noodles and cooking frozen dumplings to the worldwide field of Chinese and Western food.

in the nine months, after I resigned, I went to three cities where I had not set foot in the past, went back to my alma mater once, and went back to my hometown three times. I read 40 books, watched 160 movies, wrote 150000 words of nonsense, and learned the practice of 30 home-cooked dishes. I gained 10 jin and lost 10 jin. I earned a little part-time money and instantly filled in my credit card. I broke even in terms of weight, and my income has been unable to make ends meet. My happiness increases by 20% when I read and write, my heart beats 15 times more per minute when I see someone I like, and my confusion and panic increase by 23% when I think about the future.

in a word, in nearly a year, my happiness has not been more than 1 point, my sorrow has not lost 1 gram, my brother is about to graduate, and my parents are going to go to the barbershop to dye their new white hair black.