Two Claude.

Don't go home after work, but insist on staying away from home. This is what men and men have in common. They work for a living during the day, and after dark, they would rather hang around on the night road and eat dirty roadside stalls than go back to being ridiculed by their wives and endure the cries of their children. There are also more and more successful people who are faced with countless opportunities to throw themselves into their arms and throw themselves into their arms. They are simply too busy to go home. In addition, some ambitious guys are full of tens of millions of projects, and their family life is the most hindering them from getting rich overnight.

when I met R, I didn't understand this. At that time, I had resigned for some time, living on no more or fewer savings, and I usually worked as a part-time translator to earn some pocket money. But still, continue the image before the resignation: cut the bangs, grow straight hair over the shoulders, wear a printed umbrella skirt, a standard girl look. One night my girlfriend asked me to go to Nanluoguxiang for dinner. After ordering, my girlfriend smiled and asked, "how are you?" Is it one person or two now? "

"of course, it's not easy to live alone."

"well, I've been on several blind dates recently, all of which are unreliable. You have the right person to keep an eye on it for me." She laughed. "by the way, another person is coming later. His name is R, and we need to talk about work."

she leaned over, lowered her voice, and said mysteriously, "he's only six years older than us, but he's already married once and divorced again." As long as you know it in your heart. "

A person burst in front of me when the food was almost finished. Flathead, red Phoenix eyes, thin angled lips, light gray windproof coat, carrying a large black schoolbag on one shoulder.

Oh, this is R.

I have never seen such a clean person, though dusty. As clean as a celibate god.

my girlfriend immediately winked at me and introduced me loudly, joking that I would be a "great writer of the future". When he heard this, he didn't say a word more, but nodded to me politely, put down his schoolbag, sat down and ordered another dish, and ate it hungrily at one end.

when I watched him eat, I only felt that he was very cute, like a child. Sitting half a meter away, I smelled an extremely clean smell of white cat detergent on his coat, as if even the restaurant had become clean. Moreover, he was the first person to hear me write a novel, neither flattering nor showing a strange look. There is a tenderness gushing out from the bottom of my heart, which is the feeling of being rarely respected.

it's just that this person is a little cold, and even looking at me seems to be a waste of time.

maybe all divorcees do this?

after more than a week, I received a strange call on my cell phone and it was R. He said bluntly that he had got my cell phone number from his girlfriend, and now he was calling because he was going to Shanghai on business in a few days and asked if he needed to buy anything for me.

"what's wrong? Will it take a long time to decide? " He smiled.

I smiled sheepishly: "No." I had no idea that your voice would be so beautiful. I was a little surprised. "

"really? Oh, we didn't seem to talk much last time. "

his voice was like an iron, a warm, steaming iron that smoothed out all the sadness and wrinkles in his heart. I didn't tell him that.

"your voice is very nice, too. Your voice is just like the Valen of 887." Do you listen to 887? " He asked.

"No," I told the truth without thinking. How about

"? Have you thought about it? What can I do for you from Shanghai? "

I just remembered the subject of the call. I hesitated and said, "then bring a Fudan school badge."

you can't let him spend money on something. He and I are not even friends.

"Fudan school badge?" He repeated in surprise, "OK, I'll have a try." People who write novels are different from ordinary people. "

at that time, I didn't understand that things that cost no money are often the hardest things to get. A week later, R returned to Beijing from Shanghai and said he didn't get the school badge. I'm sorry. Let me wait. A few days later, he called me to ask me out and gave me the long school badge, saying that he had got it from a colleague in the branch office who was engaged in campus recruitment.

"you have to put it away. It's not easy to get." He smiled.

I'm already regretting it. I see what is meant by "courtesy is light and affection is heavy".

he often calls after that. He called me after work and told me what happened to him that day, funny, bad, weird, depressed. In the fine weather, he went to the coffee shop downstairs of the company for a drink and called me. One evening he called and said he was on his way to see a client. I looked up from the novel I was writing, just in time to change my mind.

"Oh, I'm finally here. The problem is this place we made an appointment with." Many houses are the same! I can't tell which one is which. " He seemed to be standing in the maze, looking around blankly, a little funny to think about it.

what's even funnier is that real estate developers' taste is still in the early stages of copying and pasting.

"it's a female client," he stressed. "she hasn't come yet. I'm waiting for her. I hope she can find me first. She should find me. "

this sentence is so meaningful that I didn't answer it and kept silent.

seeing that I was silent, he inadvertently remembered, "by the way, let me tell you some good news. I signed a pay cut today."

"How is this good news?"

"take less money and take less responsibility. However, after signing it, I found that I had been tricked... There are quite a few meetings that should be held. I want to die in every meeting. I waste 80% of my life discussing problems with stupid people. Let it go. "

"stupid people may be standard for big companies." I laugh.

he laughed: "that's right!" The result of spending a lot of time with stupid people is: in the end, you don't know who is stupid, who is stupider than who, and maybe I am the stupidest one! "

"There is one thing I find very strange." He added.

"you say."

"before, I always thought I was a very boring and boring person, but when I met you, I found--" he suddenly stopped talking and said, "Oh, the customer seems to have arrived. Well, I'll go first. I'll call you back. "

he hung up in a hurry. But I already know what he's going to say.

I'm not a blank sheet of paper. I know what's coming fast. We began to meet, eat, and ride the river. His car is a replica of him, horribly clean from the outside to the inside, with bright door handles and wheels, and there is a faint smell of citrus in the car. He said that the air freshener is not expensive.

I don't know where to go, nor do I have a destination. Neither a friend nor a lover. It is two men and women who meet by chance, dragging the shadow of the past behind them, sitting side by side in a car. The spring in Beijing is very short, the car goes round and round from Tonghui River North Road, watching the trees bloom. Only a few days after the flowers bloomed, willow catkins floated all over the sky, and white fluffy balls spread everywhere, like April snow, which floated from the ground to the sky.

A month is like a lifetime. spring, summer, autumn, and winter.

I gradually learned about R's habits of likes and dislikes. For example, even if the car is restricted, he must take a taxi and never take the subway bus. He once mentioned that when he was a child, he was often told by his grandfather to recite Tang poems when he was having dinner, and if he could not recite them, he would use chopsticks to pull his hands. He even mentioned that he only wears one brand of shoes and another brand of underwear.

he told me almost everything and made no secret.

"well, I'm getting old." He turned the wheel and suddenly frowned and sighed.

"I'm just in my thirties."

"more than. Today, I took a test and said that my psychological age was 53. fifty-three! What concept? Half of it is buried in the ground, it grows old before it gets old. "

"it's not that bad."

he glanced at me and then turned to stare ahead. "so I especially like being with you. I'm happy to see you, and as soon as I hear your voice, I think, hey, what's the big deal? nothing bothers me. You are very sunny. "

I don't live in a honeypot. Since resigning to write a novel, not only has he gradually become financially strapped, but he has experienced a cold world that he has never seen before, and it has become the norm to be rejected. Last month, when I called the editor of a magazine office to ask about the manuscript, she was lectured in the face, as if it had disturbed her to doze off while drinking tea and reading newspapers.

but R does not understand this cruel aspect of my life, only when I am carefree, girls do not know the taste of sorrow. I laughed at myself: "you always say that I am sunny, where I am sunny, it is better to like giggling."

he stopped smiling and parked his car on the side of the road outside the restaurant. After paying the parking fee in advance, he turned to look at me and said solemnly, "there are so many people giggling. People all over the street are giggling. Don't fools giggle better than you?" However, as long as I like it, that is a word: good! As long as I like it, it's unique! "

when I heard the word "like" coming out of his mouth, I realized that I had been afraid to think of it. I don't understand, though happy. I fell in love with someone who just told me without hesitation that he liked me, too. Like a mysterious veil suddenly unveiled, joy is mixed with fear, which is the strong tremor issued by strange men and women when they approach quickly. Walking beside him, his arm touched intentionally or unintentionally, as if confirming a promise repeatedly in silence. He suddenly gently held my elbow and it was raining.

after the meal, it didn't stop raining, on the contrary, it rained harder and harder. He drove me and there was a strange traffic jam. When Beijing encounters a little drizzle, it becomes a natural disaster, not to mention the torrential rain. One red light after another, the traffic is as slow as crawling. He used to turn on the radio, but when he waited for a red light, he raised his hand and turned it off, but it didn't seem to say anything to me.

the whole world is suddenly silent. The silence seemed to be expanding and shrinking, pulling me and him together. These two people, the whole world, even breathe as a whole. There are 37 seconds left at the red light across the street. At that moment I don't know why, I don't know what it is, but my heart trembles in silence. If only that second reader were broken, if only it kept raining. He and I don't say anything, we don't need to say anything, just listen to the sound of rain on the roof of the car in silence, just listen to it all night.

then he smiled, and the iron-like voice rang in his ear:

"When I was single, I heard that marriage is to live together. Just find someone similar." As a result, well, I made a big fool of myself. I have nothing to say to my family, so it's not on the same channel. It used to be noisy, especially noisy, but now it's good, it's not even noisy. I went to work yesterday morning and found something I forgot to take, so I went home again. As soon as she opened the door, she sat on the sofa. We were just... You look at me, I look at you, big eyes and small eyes. Oh, I was so scared that I quickly took my things and left. If you think about that scene, is it funny? "

the brain goes blank like lightning for a moment, and the first reaction is to miss something decisive. Isn't he divorced?

after a long time, the car moved, and he seemed to be talking again. I just turned my head and looked at him, but his eyes slipped quickly and fell on the cuffs of his shirt.

his side is a strange cold sculpture. Turns out he's not divorced. I can't face it. I can't face myself. Three minutes ago, I was full of hallucinations.

"But I have something to say to you as if I can't finish it. Well, I sometimes regret that I didn't meet you a few years earlier. " He doesn't seem to be lying, but now he only sounds funny-listening to his jokes.

"I know, you've told me that many times," I said with a straight face.

"No, I didn't say that, because I didn't regret it before I met you."

I smiled and said, "Oh."

"you don't believe me?"

I want to fight back against him with sarcastic sentences, but I can't do it yet. I'm confused.

"letter," I said.

he sighed, "I regret it." I knew from the first time I saw you that night that you were different from the people I deal with every day. "

I suddenly noticed the print skirt on my knee and the light red lace shoes on my feet. Today, I specially dressed up before I went out. After meeting him, his face moved, but he said nothing but "how come your skin is so white". Now I can't hear anything or say anything. I just want to get out of the car and let the heavy rain drench my lovely dress and drench me from head to toe! If I had just kindled something called "live fire" for him, it would have all been extinguished by the heavy rain!... Pour it on! Sober up!

he mused for a moment and then said, "anyway, I've made up my mind. I won't do this bullshit business until I'm forty. Like you, I want to do what I want to do and live the life I want. I have to realize my dream. I've made up my mind. I'm not kidding. "

my home has finally arrived, and I have been punished all the way. I stumbled back to my home on the sixth floor and felt like I had a narrow escape from death. After that, I had a fever for two days. I didn't go to the hospital. I didn't call anyone to cry. I just pulled out a thick quilt from the cupboard and went in to cover my sweater. R called several times, but I didn't answer it and hung up.

unexpectedly, he came to the door a few days later. As soon as he entered the door, he asked, "Why didn't you answer my call?"

I closed my computer, went to the kitchen to pour him a glass of water, went to the bathroom to wash my face, and tied my hair up on the back of my head. He had already drunk up the water by the time he got back. The empty cup was at hand, double bleak.

I sat down opposite him.

"How are you these days? You look terrible. "

seeing that I was silent, he asked, "have you written a novel?"

"it's being written."

"Oh, then I'm keeping you from working."

I'm silent. I can't stand this kind of courtesy as a foreshadowing.

he bit his lip and hesitated, "it's nothing." I can't get in touch with you these days. I'm worried. I came here as soon as I was busy today. "

"Oh. I'm fine. You go back. "

". I came here today to apologize to you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hidden something from you. I should have told you in the first place. "

he is not bad. When many men are on two boats, they immediately falsely accuse the girl, giving people the impression that the girl is belittling herself and insisting on being a third party, and that her face is extremely despicable. By comparison, R is pretty good. He at least knows that concealment is evil, no less than deceit. Although concealing and cheating are often the same thing.

I heard my tone soften: "it's all clear now."

"Hmm. I might. I may be too afraid of losing you, but I can't stand to hide it from you all the time. I'm conflicted. Maybe I am too selfish, I admit, I am a selfish person. "

looking at me, he continued: "I don't want you to leave me. I can't tell you that feeling. It's like a beam of light came in suddenly in a dark room." I don't want to be alone in a dark room anymore. You don't know what I've been doing these days. " As he spoke, he choked up, and now he looked like a sad and aggrieved child.

I lowered my eyes and rubbed my fingers. If his pain is real.

I asked, "are you saying everywhere that you are divorced so that you can--"

"No. I can assure you of that. "

this kind of question is probably in vain. I went to get a glass of water. I need time to calm down.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No," I shook my head. "I'm not mad at you anymore. I just feel a little funny."

"funny?" His face darkened and his voice became louder. "what's funny?" Am I funny? I drove ten kilometers over here, knocking on the door and begging you like a psychopath. Is that a joke in your eyes? "

I put down my glass, stared at him, and said coldly, "I think I'm funny. I think I'm a joke." I was young and inexplicably became a third party. I'm not short of love. "

he was stupefied and silent, then sighed for a long time and leaned down to rest his elbow on his knee.

"I know you're young, you have plenty of opportunities, and you don't have to waste time with me as a middle-aged man." He said sourly to the floor.

I was disappointed: "you're right, I don't have to." Please go back. "

he sprang to his feet. "I've told you many times, I hate it when you use the word 'you' on me!" Every time I hear you say that word, I feel like you threw me 108000 miles away! I'm an adult. Man, where should I go? I don't know. You're in charge? I'm telling you, I don't want to go back! What are you going back for? Would you like to sit with her and watch the news? I'm not going back! It's like going back to prison! To tell you the truth, even if I get out of here now, I won't go back! "

"she"-he has a wife. Having a wife speaks for itself. Perhaps as he said, the two are not on the same channel, but after all, they are married voluntarily and protected by law. He is so clean that his wife can't be so sloppy.

drives him crazy. I don't talk. If you go crazy, just call 110.

after a while he sat down, still resentful and aggrieved: "you think divorce is easy?" Just leave? It's not like I haven't tried. "

sure enough, divorce is mentioned, and it is very difficult and dangerous to mention it. I burst out laughing. But I will never let anyone divorce me, for no reason.

I got up and opened the door to signal that he was ready to go.

he sat in a daze for a long time and murmured, "will you close the door first?" Let's take our time. I'm sorry. I was so excited. I shouldn't have talked to you angrily. "

seeing that I was still, he came over and stood very close to me, and whispered, "Sorry, maybe I am too selfish." But I don't want to go like this. It's nothing. "

the heart stopped for a few seconds. He was so close to me and so gentle in his voice that he stood in front of me like a clean white god of love, seducing me to obey, tame, convert, jump into that chest, and the bird was obedient to man. I still like him, infatuated with him, it is impossible not to waver. The mind, which had just been awake and determined, blurred and sank again. It originally came from the thought that the will was firm, uncompromising, and unshakable, but in a moment I thought, "otherwise, stop struggling, sink, and pretend to be deaf and dumb." He's so nice.

he raised his hand and gently closed the door, brushing his arm past him, creating the illusion that he was about to hug. The heart beats violently again. Otherwise, that's it. What are you struggling with?

"Life is short, let's not do anything we regret, but now I think we can't regret what we haven't done." He said.

I was almost convinced. There is a truth in this world: long live love? Or: true love is innocent?

"then what am I? What am I? " It suddenly occurred to me.

he thought for a while and whispered cautiously, "whatever it is." All right? "

I finally plucked up my courage and cut a knife at the umbilical cord connected to him: "not good." I don't know whether it hurts or not.

he stared at me with amazement in his eyes. I didn't expect myself to be so determined? Don't talk about him. I didn't even think of it myself.

in essence, I have no cleverness at all. If I am docile, obedient, and obedient, I should continue to keep that decent and leisure office job, and then I should get married and have children.

too bad I'm not.

I remember that the first book I borrowed from the library in college was "Will to Power". Nietzsche's book, which could not be understood at all, was strongly attracted by the word "will".

when a person suddenly understands himself, his heart is not filled with joy. At this time, everything seems to have nothing to do with R, and I am a little sorry. It's just that everything is unexpected and reasonable. The expression of

R gradually changed from surprise to relief, and probably had an epiphany. He smiled bitterly, nodded, and said, "well, in that case, I'd better go." I never force others, let alone the one I like. Maybe you're still too young, you're only in your twenties, you don't understand how miserable it is for a middle-aged man who looks like that, you don't understand what it's like to be alone in a dark room. Of course, you may not understand these words when you say them now, and it doesn't matter what you give up and lose. "

I said to myself: you don't know me.

he went out and I closed the door. That's it. It's over.

I didn't fall asleep until almost two o'clock that night. There is a saying in my mind that rumbles past like a train countless times: heaven and earth are not benevolent, taking all things as ruminant dogs.

my girlfriend called at the weekend and asked me to come to Langtang for afternoon tea. The two met in a lakeside cafe and easily said something they didn't have, and their girlfriend said coldly, "one of my friends is having an affair."

I let out a cry and continued to eat lava cake. It's cheating again, it tastes like chewing wax.

his wife is pregnant. Do you think this kind of guy is such a jerk? How could I have such a friend! "

seeing that I was silent, my girlfriend changed the tone of explanation: "Hey, you have no idea how kind his wife is to him." I know his wife. She worked hard to save 100,000 yuan before marriage and gave it to him to do business. As a result, how was it? If you want to say that a woman is stupid, if you think that a person is full of heart and heart, you will not even leave yourself a way back. "

"Are they getting divorced?"

my girlfriend flipped her mouth and shook her head: "I haven't heard of it. I don't think it's difficult." The man probably cried bitterly and begged for forgiveness, while the woman was forgiven with a soft heart. after all, there was a baby in her belly, and she couldn't be born without a father, right? If you want to say that someone who is having an affair is hateful, you will forgive him for the whole situation even if he is sure of it. "

the wind blows in the face and brings the salty smell of the lake. My girlfriend took a deep breath and added milk to her tea-she seemed to have no idea that R lied about her divorce. I hesitated again and again, or not to ask, maybe R has a reason.

girlfriend asked, "are you in no hurry to get married?" Your family doesn't rush you? "

"to parents, they can't be what they say, it will spoil them."

girlfriend is open: "you have made a big taboo."

I laughed: "Lu Xun said: there is no road in the world, but when many people are walking, it becomes a road--"

"forget it! If Lu Xun comes back to life now and sees that everything is still the same, the article has been written in vain and the reason has been stated in vain, will he not be angry to death at once? "

"but now, after all, it is better than before. Even if you are single all your life, it is not a capital crime. You don't want to get married, no one can tie you to get married. "

my girlfriend shook her head and sighed, "you don't know. My parents always ask me if I have a date for fear that I won't get married."... But now I have another worry. What if I finally get married and my husband has an affair? Isn't that like swallowing a fly? I can't kill them both. "

I think of myself and R. Yes, if his wife knew that he talked and laughed with me on the phone every day and drove me around Beijing City whenever she was free, it would be like swallowing flies when she came home late, not working overtime or meeting clients at all, but striving for peace in my house. Now when I think about these things, I have an incredible sense of the other world.

"think of my cheating friend, to be fair, I really can't say he's a bad guy. Before this happened, I always thought he was a very reliable and good man. " My girlfriend is filled with emotion.

"People have many sides," I said.

my girlfriend nodded, looking very sad as if she had completely lost heart to a man.

We went to take the subway together. When we changed trains in Jianguomen, my girlfriend suddenly asked, "R asked me for your number. Have you contacted me?"

"I have eaten several times." I understated and looked at the tips of my shoes. I still can't calm down when I hear his name.

"is he chasing you? I met him once last week, and I asked him, but he wouldn't say anything. "

I hesitate to say, "it's impossible for us."

"I see. It was rejected."

I have no choice but to say nothing, which seems to be true.

"he just went to the hospital and had a minor operation. There seems to be something wrong with his heart. He didn't tell you? "

I was startled and pretended to be calm and beaten back. "he's only in his thirties. Why is there something wrong with his heart?"

"who knows. But aren't there a lot of people who die suddenly before they are forty? Last time, when we had dinner together, he was going to change jobs, but it didn't work out. Well, he is a very proud man. He lives too much. He twists and turns and there is something wrong with his health. "

I was silent, feeling the hurricane as the train was about to enter the station.

"you can do without anything. You can't do without health. You are lucky to find it in advance." Alas, here comes the bus. I'll go first and get in touch with you later. "

I watched my girlfriend walk into the crowded car in high heels and say goodbye with a smile. Turn around, as if bumping into a huge white void. There was a flood of people on the platform, one by one carefully searching for the past, all strange faces, not R. I remember a long time ago, when my lover broke up with me at the subway station, I, who had never had a stomach problem, immediately turned over his stomach, had severe spasms, retched on the spot and could hardly afford to fall to the ground. Tears and stomach juice flowed all over his face. Miserable and miserable. The subway station attendants were so scared that they all went out and helped me, who was dying, to lie down on the bench and immediately brought water to drink.

learned a word many years later: somatization. Only then did I understand.

alas, I can't bear to look back. But after all, the human heart is kind, and no one will watch another person die.

the cell phone rang, and it was a message from my girlfriend:

"just now I didn't have time to say: there is another possibility, that is, he broke his heart."

but I didn't contact R anymore. I couldn't care about him like a friend and asked him what was wrong with his heart and whether it was serious. He doesn't need a friend, and I can't treat him as a friend, so why pretend. As time went by, I fell in love and changed jobs. No matter what the situation, the novel has been written all the time. In those years, we did hear about several cases of sudden death at an early age, but none of them was R.

I'm married.

on a bright summer day, swear side by side with another person: "in good times and bad, rich and poor, in health and sickness, we are in the same boat through weal and woe."

my mother stood not far away taking pictures with a Canon camera. When she looked over, she found her head down wiping away her tears. Weep for joy? When I saw her crying, I was more jubilant.

I asked my husband, "what do you love about me?"

"Love you want to do something."

"then what do you love about me?" He smiled.

"Love you have seen me when I am most down and out," I am very emotional, from the bottom of my heart, "do not give up."

"I want to laugh now." He said.

"Why?"

"finally married you," he grimaced. "before you know it, it's too late to regret it."

"Oh! No wonder someone was so nervous just now that he even filled in the wrong nationality. "

it seems that after several years of running around, the dust has finally settled and ushered in a valuable era of peace. Two people walking hand in hand in the sun, generous and magnanimous, we are husband and wife.

make up for the honeymoon in the second year of marriage. I bought a ticket from all Nippon Airways to Japan. Waiting for boarding is boring, I stroll to a nearby duty-free shop, and there is nothing to buy. Walking back, I suddenly saw a familiar silhouette in front of me, with a flat head, a gray mountaineering suit, a largely black school bag on one shoulder, and a silver climbing case.

the forehead sank and hurriedly stopped and turned his back. Does that guy seem to be R?

in a hurry, I went back to the duty-free shop, looked at the makeup perfume I had just seen again, and finally hid next to the Miu Miu perfume counter and picked up a small light blue bottle to try.

the clerk of the duty-free shop appeared at the right time and enthusiastically said, "this is our latest model this year, and the capacity can be brought on the plane."

"Oh, well, thank you." I pretended to look out of the store inadvertently, and the figure was gone.

"If you buy it, please show me your passport and boarding pass."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I hurried down the steps. "my passport boarding pass is in my bag. I'm sorry. Thank you. "

go back to your husband and sit down and look around. He looked at me: "what's the matter with you?" I was in a panic. "

"I seem to see someone I used to know."

"who is it? Which ex-boyfriend is it? " His tone was slightly jokingly jealous.

"No," I paused and whispered, "it looks like R."

"Oh, the married man." My husband heard me say a few words about R and didn't ask any more questions.

has taken off. I loosely fastened my seat belt and stared out of the porthole. Did you get the wrong guy just now? What's going on? I'm a little upset.

my husband sighed, "sometimes I find it annoying, crowded, congested, and stressful at work in Beijing." However, every time I look at Beijing like this from the air, I think the city is still very great. "

I burst out laughing. How could he speak in earnest like a cadre from Yenan?

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he said, "but in the final analysis, such a great city is built by the most ordinary and ordinary people, right?"

I fell silent again. Ordinary people also have frightening love and hate, surging memories, unclear past, can not be touched, dare not meet again.

that man is R, and he didn't speak until he passed the Japanese customs.

"That was you at the Beijing airport just now. Hi, I didn't dare to recognize it." He smiled. Turns out he saw me, too.

the husband greeted him with a smile and pushed the box to delve into the Tokyo subway map.

"your husband is nice." R said.

Thank you. "

"How have you been these years? A novelist? "

"Don't laugh at me. Are you alive? you didn't starve to death. "

he nodded as if approvingly: "being alive is the most important."

"you look different." He said.

Yes, I have changed. I have long stopped cutting bangs and exposed my forehead. I am no longer interested in broken flower patterns, and my favorite dress is black, white, and gray. I saw the gray hair on his sideburns. He's old, too. In front time, equality between men and women, everyone is equal, who can be an exception.

"I'm divorced." He said calmly.

I froze, and it took me a long time to squeeze out a smile: "that. Congratulations? " I thought it was a playful sentence to rescue me.

he thought and smiled: "it should and shouldn't be." Because we're transferred now, you're married, I'm single. We are always very unlucky. "

the husband came back and asked R without hearing anything: "are we going to take the Sky Express later? are we on the way?" Let's join us on the way. "

what on earth is in a man's head? I'm surprised. It only takes a few minutes to get together, and, amazingly, there are no hard feelings.

"We won't be together on the way. I won't be a light bulb for you." R said easily.

sitting on the Sky Express, I reproached my husband: "you really acted as if nothing had happened and went together, but luckily he didn't agree."

"he's not a heinous bastard, so why not be nice to others."

leaning against the back of the train chair, I kept thinking about my chance encounter with R. To say that there are no waves in your heart is to lie to others as well as to yourself. My mind keeps playing back every word he said to me, every word, even every look in his eyes, the arc of every corner of his mouth. Only when we slowly regained our strength did we remember that we had envisioned what I should do and what to say in case I met him again (in Beijing, of course), to make him understand that he was ashamed of me without losing his manners. But just now, the moment I heard him see him at Narita Airport in Tokyo, I seemed to forgive everything, accept everything, remember everything, and forget everything. After the time is lengthened and lengthened, the right and wrong of love and hate are not very clear. It is a miraculous arrangement for me to meet someone who was once truly admired in a foreign country.

I didn't turn my head and wanted to cry-I realized that the story of R and I had come to a complete circle. Each of us is in the right place and goes our way. No one ends better than this. There is nothing to regret anymore. Whether I am willing to admit it or not, now in my eyes, R is just an ordinary man.

outside the window, the green and tidy fields are endless, dotted with three or four low ivory bungalows. The horizon stretches far away, setting off the bright snow-white cumulus clouds in the clear blue sky, like a beautiful oil painting that has just been completed. The map shows that we are in a place called Takashi, with Sakura to the south and Narita to the east. The land is brand new to me, and the sky is brand new. I will make a fresh start here. How about

"? Have you calmed down? " The husband reached out his hand and gently held mine.

when I missed my foot, I suddenly woke up and immediately clasped the hand tightly, with my fingernails deep in the flesh:

"Tell me, will you fall in love with someone else one day?"