To be able to talk is to be considerate of others.

you can't find the gap between people if you don't think about it carefully.

you think everyone's IQ is the same, you just lack a chance, but sometimes, it may not be the case. That's the only thing that happened to me during the holiday.

the child is one and a half years old and has been taken care of by his mother-in-law. On National Day, my mother-in-law went back to her hometown to have a rest. She called to ask us how the child was being taken care of, and we told the truth. The signal during the call was not good and the phone was cut off. At this time, the classmate who came to play with me reminded us that on the phone, not to mention good care, not to mention poor care, say you come back soon, the child is not as good as usual. I said to myself, why not talk to my family according to the truth, so I politely asked why, and her next words shocked me.

she said, "Yes, she will feel frustrated besides being happy for her children, because she doesn't take care of her as well as you." If you say bad, she will be worried about the child and think it's not a good time for me to come home. You say that it is not as good as usual, on the one hand, it means that the child is fine, and on the other hand, it means that you are not as good as her, so that she will be very happy to take care of your children and feel like a master.

my first reaction at that time was that my mother-in-law was the kind of old man who really loved her children, so this method could not be copied and was not suitable for us. But what happened in less than 30 seconds made me think about my own way of doing things. Never mind whether others have a plan or not, the consciousness of the classmates is very strong. From our point of view, it was so small that we wouldn't want to say anything, but her immediate reaction was different from ours. In fact, this is a model of thinking from other people's point of view, usually we use this for the sake of others to generate compassion and understanding of others, but here the classmate is one step further than this understanding of others, and she took advantage of this. The first advantage of strengthening this way of thinking is that once you have this consciousness, you will consciously control your mouth.

for example, I speak bluntly and seldom beat around the bush. This is an advantage as well as a disadvantage, which is a disadvantage when you are not honest but because you think less. If you don't speak from the reaction of the listener, it will ruin a lot of communication opportunities. In other words, I don't use it frequently as a tool to think of others. So when I am aware of this, the next time I speak, I will think about how what I say will affect the listeners, and whether this impact will lead to bad reactions from others, such as bad mood, or misunderstanding due to semantic ambiguity. These are all things worth considering.

when you no longer speak for the pleasure of your mouth, you don't know how much less karma you will create in the language of Buddhists. I remember a long time ago, when I was listening to people talking about Buddhism, I had a confusion. At that time, I heard that some eminent monks have magical powers. For ordinary people, this kind of thing is very magical. So I always ask some people who know more about Buddhism about the avatar. But this kind of thing is too beyond the experience of ordinary people, so when I ask these questions, in fact, some people in the audience will misunderstand or even reject and laugh at Buddhists because they think these things are outrageous. And all this is just because I talked about this kind of thing I haven't seen before without knowing it. If I speak out of curiosity, it may cause some people to misunderstand a religion. This is a big crime.

although we ordinary people don't have to think so carefully about everything, there's nothing wrong with thinking before we speak. We often hear seniors say: talk less and do more; older seniors also say: look before you leap. Are telling you to "be careful what you say and what you do".

the higher level of caution is skillful speech. Although it is criticized in the Analects of Confucius that clever words are seldom benevolent. But maybe what I'm trying to say is not quite the same as this. In the Analects of Confucius, there is another half of the saying about how to speak, which is called "without seeing the color", that is to say, when you talk to your elders, you also have to look at people's faces, otherwise there is no difference between them and the blind. I think this kind of observation is a lie. Although you can't see the other person's face on the phone, it's right to be nice and obedient. Zeng Guofan also said, "the word flattery is the most important thing for relatives." From a secular point of view, they are happy to say so, why not say so?

so, when you think about life and work, you pay a little attention to the language, and the listeners immediately react differently, and it's good to be happy to benefit yourself and make others feel happy. With this kind of consciousness, it can be said that every word is not lost at the critical moment, and it is no wonder that he is not strong.

and when thinking of others becomes an ability, you may have a different understanding of many things, and you may change from a selfish person to a less selfish person. This change may make you like a little bit, add up, and in the end, as Laozi said, "it's not selfless, it's selfish." Think about it, when you always make people feel happy, who will make you unhappy? Looking for a job, dating, doing things, almost without exception.

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Gee, it is true that "the world is wise and learned, and human skill is an article".

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