The worst enemy of education is the temper of parents! (good text in depth)

01

there is one thing in this world that does more harm than good-- losing your temper. The same is true of educating children.

my former chairman is a well-known entrepreneur and educator. The old lady, who is over 70 years old, is now retired.

during this family visit, the local county government specially invited the old lady to give a free education report to thousands of local teachers, students and parents.

she, who was affectionately known as Mother Liu, was "the first Top Ten Outstanding mothers in China" 15 years ago. There are many successful experiences in parenting methods. Coupled with the baptism and continuous learning of advanced parenting ideas in recent years, many views on parenting have become more distinct. At the

meeting, she bluntly pointed out the taboos of many families on their children's education, and called on thousands of parents and friends in the education sector to refrain from this problem and not to copy it to the next generation.

she said: there is one thing in this world that can do more harm than good-that is to lose your temper. The same is true of educating children.

02

Why don't you lose your temper?

one point of temper and seven points of harm.

experts in the field of education pointed out that poverty will not lead to the failure of education, but mental abuse will certainly create a problem child.

letting a child live in mental abuse is like putting her in the yoke of a lifetime of pain. Many parents blame their children's willfulness, disobedience and mischief on their children. in fact, behind every problem child, there must be a problem parent. this is an iron rule.

the problems of children are almost always the problems of parents, but many parents do not want to see their own problems and always try their best to fix their children.

it is inevitable that children with spirituality will move towards a negative and pessimistic world if they are subjected to mental abuse.

bad temper is inherited.

what kind of environment, what kind of children. Parents who love to lose their temper teach their children to be rebellious, paranoid, sensitive, fragile and aggressive. After the child grows up, the temper is also very grumpy, the person is harsh, serious is likely to have the neurotic tendency.

when such children grow up and become parents, they will inherit their parents' bad temper and "vent their injuries and copy violence". At this time, the next generation of young children become the victims of a bad temper.

as Montessori said: every character defect is caused by the misfortune of childhood.

bad temper is the strongest killing weapon in parent-child relationship.

bad temper, so that children do not dare to be close, do not dare to open their hearts to you, always in worry and fear, without sense of security, there will be all kinds of problems in their growth.

there are many such examples: the more grumpy the parents are, the more naughty the child is; the more angry the parents are, the more difficult it is for the child to manage; as the parent's temper escalates, the child's bad behavior grows.

there was a little boy next door who was very naughty and difficult to control. Later, his father tied him up and beat him with a rope, but the child was not beaten and became good. He did not go to school until the third grade.

parents' ideological education fell into a strange inertia: he thought it was useless to yell at his children, so he had to scold them; if he did not scold them "hard enough," he began to fight, and later pursued "a stick makes a filial son."

in fact, he doesn't know that he is going in the opposite direction, and the harder he is, the worse the situation will be.

adults should give children more room for patience, tolerance and trust. Although watching children make mistakes without correcting them immediately is a test of parents' endurance, we should believe that children have the ability to correct themselves.

people's growth is a process of constant self-reflection and self-correction, and we should respect children's right to enjoy this process.

03

the way to change a bad temper

replace tantrum with communication.

losing your temper casually is like throwing rubbish everywhere, which is very bad behavior. Children should not be the trash can of our negative emotions. Instead of getting angry, we should communicate well.

for example, when you see that your child hasn't finished his homework, don't yell and get angry: why haven't you done it yet? I know how to play every day! Wait. Will the child do his homework well because of this? Of course not, children will be more resistant to homework.

if you want to achieve the desired effect, you can say something like this: I'm really sorry that you didn't finish your homework on time. If you can finish your homework in half an hour, I will feel very happy.

express your wishes directly, and if the child does so, his or her emotions and feelings, educate the child with empathy, and let the feelings flow smoothly. In doing so, children are more likely to accept the advice and discipline of their parents.

the effect of "reasonable education" in education is much better than that of being furious. Let the home be full of emotion and communication, rather than violence and rebuke.

parents seem to improve their temper in order to better educate their children, but in fact they benefit in the end. When we learn to get along with our emotions, the happiness and happiness of life will be within reach.

think quietly and face your emotions truthfully.

blindly suppressing and restraining one's temper is not the best way. Emotions cannot be suppressed, and repressed emotions eventually erupt in a more out-of-control state.

the right thing to do is to learn to face your emotions sincerely and realize that my own emotional management has nothing to do with my children.

when she was in an enterprise, the old lady had a successful experience in dealing with her temper, that is, whenever something went wrong, she typed out her thoughts in front of a computer or notebook in the office. After all the anger, grievances and bad temper were written out, my heart was calmed down a lot.

this is not only an act of loving oneself, but also an efficient way to deal with feelings.The practical method of Xu can free up more "memory space" to do meaningful things, and the effect is very good.

learn to express your emotions truly and dredge them in time.

I have a classmate who is recognized as having a good temper and never gets angry after being a mother. She said that the reason why she never gets angry is that she often expresses her emotions with her family.

she said that no matter what happens outside, whether scolded by the boss or misunderstood by friends, as long as she goes home to talk to her lover, she will regain her peace of mind and never worry about bringing negative emotions to her children.

when a person is angry and angry, as long as you give her a strong hug, listen attentively and affirm her feelings, you will be able to bring strength and comfort to each other. Once the other person's emotions are released and expressed, they will naturally be calm and gentle.

the same is true for children.

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after the child has done something wrong and has been wronged, he does not need to blame, complain, beat and scold, but is understood, loved and listened. only when the child empties out the garbage in his heart can he really put into your good advice and instruction.