The worst education: father does not contribute, mother uses brute force!

the arrival of a new life is always joyful.

but parents all know how difficult it is to raise a child, changing diapers, making milk powder, sleeping.

it seems simple, but it contains a lot of fatigue and anxiety.

if you don't have the support of your teammates, it's even worse.

A foreign mother gave birth to twins, and her husband took maternity leave with her.

unexpectedly, every time the baby cries, he always goes to the bathroom for the first time and stays for half an hour.

leave his busy wife to take care of the two children alone.

the wife was very angry when she found out and decided to turn off the Internet at home as long as her husband was in the bathroom for more than 10 minutes.

the effect is immediate!

but the husband was very dissatisfied and accused his wife of not shutting down the Internet.

netizens fell to the ground in support of their wife:

"it's time to turn it off in more than five minutes!"

"you shouldn't turn off the network, you should shut down the marriage!"

"even a college roommate is better than such an old man!"

the way of parenting is like two people pushing a cart uphill together, one escapes a little bit, the other's arm is a little heavier.

Marriage requires not only love, but also righteousness that treats each other with all sincerity.

naming a husband not only does great harm to the marriage, but also leaves a shadow on the children for a lifetime.

01

naming a husband is a sharp knife to hurt the family.

there is a topic on Zhihu: how many people are disappointed in their husbands after giving birth? The screen is full of helplessness and bitterness:

"as long as he takes the child for more than ten minutes, he will say, baby, let's go and see what the mother is doing!"

"when giving a child a bath, he deliberately makes the child cry and then says that the child does not want to let him wash."

"in order not to have children, I deliberately went to the office to work overtime on weekends, came home, and bragged about how hard I was!"

.

this is not only the life of ordinary people, but even stars with shining halos can not escape such a fate.

he Jie said in an interview:

"with children, my role has changed quickly, but he still should play games, keep fit, and do what he should do every day. He won't change his life a little bit and don't get into the state of being a father at all."

it is obviously a plot of two people, but there is only one person.

the wife acts as a mother at the moment the child is born, but many husbands still stand in the same place blankly.

when his wife wanted him to play the role of father, he failed to respond to that expectation.

survey data show that 50% of 75% of women have depressive symptoms to varying degrees after giving birth.

in addition to the changes in hormone levels in the body, it is more likely to be caused by disappointment with the absence of the husband.

what is even more frightening is that this absence destroys far more than just the feelings of husband and wife.

Foreign studies show that children who suffer from "fatherly deficiency syndrome" when they are young are five times more likely to become poor than ordinary children, the high school dropout rate is 2 times higher, and the crime rate is 2 times higher.

psychoanalyst Luge Zhaojia wrote in his book fatherhood:

Today's father is condemned not because of what he did, but because of what he didn't do; not because of what he said, but because he didn't say anything. They were there, but they kept silent. "

it is this silence that makes countless children trapped in the void of love and unable to find an exit.

02

tell him that I need you, and the child needs you

due to differences in physiological structure, the father did not go through the process of being pregnant for 10 months, so it is inevitable to have a sense of unreality when the child is born.

actor Bauer said he was looking forward to the birth of the baby, but when he did see the baby, he couldn't find the strong sense of connection he had imagined.

this is actually a true portrayal of many dads, not that they don't love, but that they don't know how to love.

Xia Keli is a famous pet girl in the entertainment industry. Many viewers are deeply moved by his gentleness and patience with summer.

in fact, he was once faced with the dilemma of not being able to feel in the face of a new life.

his solution is to take on all the details of taking care of the baby.

he said that since there is no natural physical connection like his mother, he has to work hard to find it in the relationship.

in many cases, the sense of responsibility is gradually discovered and realized through constant participation and practice.

after her best friend gave birth to the baby, her husband held the soft little thing and dared not move for fear of breaking it.

he told him to change his diaper. He covered his nose and said, "Why is it so smelly?"

asked him to breast-feed the baby, and he looked sad. "I won't!"

my best friend said gloomily, "then I haven't been trained. I can do it."

when the baby was crying, she said softly that she had low back pain, so her husband had to rush the milk powder.

after all the hustle and bustle, the child gave him a burp and gave him a sweet smile that stunned him.

later, he always rushed to take care of the baby, from "crying as soon as he hugged" to "getting closer and closer", and his best friend was happy to take a back seat.

accompany and take care of the child, the child likes the father, the father is more willing to take care of the child.

this positive cycle needs not only the active participation of father, but also the wisdom and guidance of mother.

the child is the motherPro's weakness is also the father's softest happiness.

when they are at a loss, let's not indulge in disappointment, complain or ridicule, but tell each other sincerely: I need you, the child needs you.

the innocent smile of a child is the best encouragement and reward.

when they find themselves in harmony with their children, they gain a great sense of intimacy and achievement, which will gradually adapt them to the role of "father".

03

Don't be a "superman mother" and put your child into the "arms" of your father

A lot of things in the world can be perfect as long as you work hard.

only being a mother is a thing that never gets a full mark.

A friend said that after having a child, he was like suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

when she occasionally goes out for half an hour, she gets restless: is she worried that the baby is crying? Are you hungry? Are you hurt?

her husband wants to help, but she dislikes her husband's clumsiness and refuses to give her husband a chance to interfere.

she has a fear that only I can take the best care of my child, and no one else can.

this fear drove her to be as busy as a top until she was too tired to fall ill.

after she was discharged from the hospital, she rushed home to look after the children.

found that the child did not lose weight or cry, but was happily playing games with his father.

even more sensible than before: "Mom, Dad says you are sick, so you should take your medicine obediently!"

some people say that the so-called "widowed parenting" is actually used to by mothers.

the number of super moms means how many vacant dads there are.

the number of vacant dads means how many adults are likely to have negative tendencies in emotional cognitive and psychological development.

We have to believe that there is a kind of love in this world called fatherly love.

just like Deng Chao gently hugged Xiaohua's sister when she cried and said with heartache, "I decided to take a rest and be a stay-at-home father";

Huang Lei's unparalleled love, will develop Duoduo into a versatile, confident and generous dazzling girl;

cool Zhou Jielun, an affectionate new song, is just a gift for her daughter.

when the mother becomes an omnipotent Superman, the father will also acquiesce that he does not need to exist, further weakening his position in the parent-child relationship.

only we know how to let go, send the child into the father's arms, and give the father the space and opportunity to show his love.

in this way, he can gradually assume the role of father in the close contact with the child, and the child will grow up better as a result.

04

the efforts of two people to support the happiness of a family

"Lanhai Open course on growth Education" said:

"everyone can participate in a family team, and only with more trust and emotional exchanges can we really form a family."

undeniably, fierce social competition sometimes makes dads feel helpless and helpless:

important clients come suddenly and have to work overtime in the evening for meetings;

seminars must be attended. I have to go on a business trip for a week;

the plan needs to be revised urgently, which takes the whole weekend;

...

then you might as well give high-quality companionship to your family as long as you can.

make a nutritious breakfast for your family in the morning;

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take the initiative to bathe your child in the evening, and then tell a story to put your child to sleep;

take your child to enjoy the scenery of nature on weekends.

High-quality and effective companionship is enough to make up for the lack of time.

as a wife, give more praise and affirmation, instead of blaming each other for "why don't you help me", but sincerely express "you are a good husband and father, and my children and I are happy because of you".

psychologically, people yearn for affirmation.

even if you do your part and get praise, you will be overjoyed.

Marriage is for two people, and children are for two people.

if one person bears the burden, it may cause physical and mental pain; if two people share it, they will share the joys and sorrows.

striving for a common family goal, building internal motivation in a positive cycle of mutual support and mutual support, can we achieve long-term happiness in a family!

May the father pay more attention to the child's growth and let the mother relax.