The Truth of Marriage: it's the same as anyone.

01

I have seen such a topic: what is marriage?

some people say that marriage is a ritual. The ring is put on the ring finger, and there are countless ties behind it.

some people also say that marriage is a city where people outside want to come in longingly, and people in the city want to escape because of the fireworks.

in fact, no one's marriage is once and for all. If you want to be happier than others, you have to work a hundred times or even thousands of times.

the old professor Dai Jianye, who became popular on Douyin, not only gave an interesting lecture, but also envied his relationship with his wife for most of his life.

however, when they first got married, because of their different living habits, they often quarreled and even thought of divorce. They both felt that they had chosen the wrong person.

later, Mr. Dai began to reflect on himself:

at that time I was immature and didn't know how to give way to girls.

slowly I grew up a little, and I thought she would marry me. What was my quarrel with her? It is, isn't it?

when many people quarrel, they can't help but sigh:

if they hadn't married him, they would be very happy now.

but there are not so many ifs and ifs in life!

it's not that there are fewer people born right for each other, but that the ability to run a marriage is weaker.

the happiest marriage in the world, there are 200 thoughts of divorce and 50 impulses of strangling each other.

A writer once said:

if you eat whole grains, you are doomed to be tainted with vulgar smoke and fire. You cannot ask a mortal to live as a perfect saint who will never make mistakes, especially in feelings.

A truly perfect marriage is when two people go hand in hand in constant running-in.

02

two days ago, I read such a story in the book:

there was a couple who quarreled frequently. The husband was grumpy, always complaining that his wife was not gentle and considerate, and the wife could not tolerate her husband's behavior. She felt that her husband no longer loved her.

the depressed wife told the elder patriarch about her relationship with her husband and asked the elder patriarch to give her some advice.

the old patriarch thought about it and said, "I can tell you a good way, but on one condition, you must tie this ribbon around the lion's neck." At that time, there were often lions in the village, but the lion was so fierce that almost no one dared to approach him, which made it very difficult for her.

finally, she thought of an idea. The next day, she sent a sheep to the lion and went home without doing anything.

the lion was confused at first. But his wife sent a sheep to the lion every day, and the lion gradually fell in love with her. as soon as he saw her, he would wag his tail to her warmly and let her touch her.

the wife knew that the lion had trusted herself, so she boldly went up and tied the ribbon around the lion's neck. She told the elder patriarch how to tie a ribbon to the lion, who smiled and said

"my way is to let you tame your husband by taming the lion!" Try to tie another ribbon around your husband's neck! "

I can't help smiling after reading it.

Why can't a man who dares to tame a lion not be able to influence his husband?

if two married people cling to each other's beauty in love, they will only be disappointed in the end.

Love is like a veil, and the true face behind the veil needs to be unveiled by yourself.

those who follow romance, in addition to affection, there are more quarrels and trivialities.

it's not that I don't love anymore, on the contrary, it's because love is so unscrupulous.

do you remember the speech made by the father in Taiwan at his daughter's wedding?

"Marriage is not 1 to 2, but 0.5 to 0.5." After marriage, you two have to lose half of your personalities in order to form a happy family. Marriage is not possession, but union. "

in any intimate relationship, it is the person in the relationship who plays a decisive role.

neither husband nor wife can forget that you are yourself first.

Marriage is a self-cultivation no matter who you are with.

the important thing is not to change others, but to improve yourself.

We can live a happy life only if we have more patience to mend our own defects and accept each other's imperfections.

when you understand this, you will have the courage to cherish and the courage to leave.

03

when it comes to the culprit in the relationship, "money" should bear the brunt.

Women want to buy two clothes to discipline themselves, men say they are married to whom to wear;

want to provide a better learning environment for their children, but men even say that those who are promising are not on their own;

even when choosing gifts for their parents, men can't avoid muttering a few words.

in my opinion, the most important thing for both men and women is to be able to support themselves.

if the other party is fighting for money day by day, you must allow yourself to keep up with the other person's footsteps so that you will not be left too far behind.

even if your lover is not rich enough, you can make money to support your family. The premise of sharing blessings is that you share difficulties.

Love is not so humble only if you make yourself strong.

Carina Lau and Tony Leung have diametrically opposite personalities, but the two have gone through decades of wind and rain hand in hand.

the secret of their love preservation is very simple, both sides are independent enough!

Carina Lau never overcontrols Tony Leung's life and work, both husband and wifeThey all have their own space, but when they need each other most, the other person will never give up.

Venus says in the resounding book:

Women must not be lazy if they want not to fall. A woman who is open from heart to body can bring this flow and freshness to the management of the family.

there is no shortage of friends who devote themselves to home after getting married and having children. When there are any waves in their life, they want to make a fuss.

therefore, do not fritter away the excellent you used to be because of firewood, rice, oil and salt.

No matter who you are with, your partner should be the one who can stand side by side with you, sing the scenery on both sides of the strait, and hold your hand tightly in the rough sea. Blindly rely on, will only let oneself live like a vine, no root, such feelings are bound to collapse.

when you are independent, you already have your own light, marriage and love, which is just the icing on the cake.

and when you start to have such confidence, you already win at the starting line.

04

Please answer 1988, the father said to his daughter:

"Dad, I was not born a father, and my father is also a father for the first time. So, my daughter is a little more considerate. "

the same is true in marriage.

not every married person knows how to be someone else's husband or wife. Because they are newcomers, they need more time to grow up.

Marriage is to put two people's lives together. What it needs is enough tolerance and understanding of both husband and wife.

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in the final analysis, there is only fireworks in the world, which is the most appealing to the hearts of the people.

Marriage is also a discipline, and we are all colleagues.

only if you learn to precipitate yourself, you can live up to your time, never forget your original ideals and aspirations, and live your life in vain.