The most comfortable relationship is the consistency of the three values.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
on the train of life, fate arranges the script for everyone's appearance.
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some people are the protagonists of your life, some people are just passing supporting roles; some people appear to cherish, some people are doomed to bid farewell.
in the face of all kinds of people, only by living our attitude can we make the right choice and walk side by side with the right people.
people with the same values are at ease with each other, do not have too many scruples in chatting and do things without too many rules; people with different values always have a deliberate dialogue with each other, fearing that saying something wrong is a handle, and that it is a provocation.
people live a lifetime, don't make trouble for yourself. if you don't agree with each other, why come into your life?
01
three values are different, not the same people
psychologist Horney said:
for a relationship, the three values are the foundation. If the foundation is not good, no matter how high-sounding the building is, it is just a castle in the air and will not last long.
you saved money for a long time to buy a beautiful dress, and she said directly, "do you want to save money for this brand of clothes?"
when you travel, you buy some beautiful souvenirs and go home with a feast for the eyes. He wants to say, "the furnishings are not practical, so it's cheaper to buy them online."
when you see a beautiful dance, you can't wait to recommend it to the people around you. As a result, some people say, "if you want to dance, it's better to make more money."
what frustrates us is not being unhappy, but finding the wrong person to share when we are happy. When you share joy, he thinks you are showing off; when you pour out your sadness, he thinks you are pretentious.
I have heard many people complain that getting along with people who do not agree with the three values is no less than playing a psychological offensive and defensive battle, physically and mentally exhausted.
if the world of two people doesn't fit together, don't force it. The so-called good gathering and breaking up is probably the best attitude for us to respect a relationship.
02
people whose values are different and do not have to be friends
can be invited into life and become good partners in our work, bosom friends in life, and partners in love. People with different values, forget each other as soon as possible is the best result.
chatting with a friend the other day, she said that her new job was not going well, which made her feel broken for a time.
friends have always attached great importance to the personal image of going to work and dress up carefully every day, while some colleagues always say behind her back that she is not secure in her work and wants to rely on beauty.
she likes flowers and buys a bunch every week to keep her eyes on her desk. She is ridiculed every day that she is a loser.
she is new here, so she often tries to work overtime to get used to work, resulting in a sentence like "so desperately, do you want your boss to pay attention to you?"
my friend drooped his face and said helplessly, "Don't you want to make money because you want to live a better life?" How can I have ulterior motives in their eyes when I manage my own life with my heart? "
I can't help but think of a sentence:
many people always regard themselves as a benchmark to evaluate others, and always use their own values to maliciously speculate on others.
the three values are not exactly the same, but to be able to seek common ground while reserving differences. Although you and I are different, I can respect and tolerate your differences.
We are not the same people, so why make friends? People who can't live together can keep a reasonable distance, or bring out your life directly.
people who really love life must first know how to respect the lives of others. Learn to light up every beam of light in ordinary days, and at the same time do not extinguish the fire of others' happiness.
03
the most comfortable relationship is the consistency of the three values
Liu Zhenyun wrote in "one sentence to ten thousand sentences": "one person's loneliness is not loneliness, one person looking for another person, one sentence looking for another sentence, is the real loneliness."
Life is too long, and being with people with different values tastes like chewing wax every day, which is more terrible than loneliness itself.
when you meet people with the same values, life is like eating candy, with less embarrassment to be thrown cold water and more warmth to be encouraged and accompanied.
Zhou Youguang and Zhang Yunhe, the fathers of Hanyu Pinyin, were named as one of the 100 loving couples in the century.
the fortune-teller said: you two won't last ten years. But they have been holding hands for 70 years.
countless relatives and friends asked Zhou for advice on the Book of Marriage. The old man thought about it carefully and said:
husband and wife share the same emotional values, and both take the initiative to create a sense of ritual in life.
celebrate together, celebrate holidays together, hug and praise without stinginess, it is this "ceremony" of love, and the two have become "100 loving couples" of the century.
most of the time we feel lonely, not because we are unaccompanied, but because we do something that no one understands. If you are with people who don't understand, you won't be recognized for what you do.
all harmonious and lasting relationships in the world are comfortable in nature. Only people with the same values can go a long way.
Haruki Murakami said:
there are 7 billion people in the world, and it is not easy to meet people with the same values. Met, even in the bumpy life, will not lose the original self, side by side to reach the yearning of the other shore.
Life is a long time. May you walk with people who know tolerance, respect and mutual appreciation.
May there is no shortage of audience for your happiness and your story will be listened to attentively.
May you meet some interesting souls.