The more you escape, the more difficult it is; the more active you are, the smoother you are.

my brother has changed jobs twice since he came to Beijing. He was very tired in his first job. He left home at seven in the morning and got home at nine in the evening. When he got home, he had to work overtime until 11:00. He almost always had to work overtime on Saturdays and Sundays, so after holding on for more than half a year, he finally couldn't hold out. He asked me if he wanted to resign. It can be said that I can not be of much help in this respect, because first, I am not as good as him, and second, my view is very simple. Since the money is OK, you might as well stick to it and see if the people around you are tired or not. If some of them do similar work with you but are not tired, then you have room for improvement and optimization. My brother took my advice, left his job decisively, and changed his job. However, soon after working, I encountered a situation similar to that of my first job. At the same time, I encountered almost the same problem. We both feel that the content of our daily work is too intense. the leader always gives you a lot of things and then asks you to speed up your efficiency, but we try to get you to work overtime at night, so you can't go home until it's done. A lot of things suddenly come to the point of a vicious circle. Knowing that things have to be done over time, there are more or less idling during working hours. So the common topic we meet every day is to complain about work. I am a brother, so I still have to set an example in some things. One day, I will remind him if there is still room for improvement in his work. 

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At first, he disagreed and naturally said a lot of things like how well he had done his job. After careful questioning, I found a problem: he, like me at that time, lacked real initiative in doing things. the tasks assigned by the leader can always be accomplished with his proficiency. But in addition to the tasks assigned, basically do not do it. And the work he is engaged in actually needs to worry about a lot of things. I reminded him not to have a working mentality, but to worry about these things as if they were his own. Maybe as soon as the state of mind changes, everything changes. For example, working overtime is the same, taking the initiative to work overtime and being asked to work overtime are two concepts. I was also stuck in this state of passive overtime at that time, so my brother naturally didn't believe me and ridiculed me to take care of myself first. I don't believe 100% of what I say, but as an elder brother, I always have to do it, but in the process of persuading him, I seem to think that what I said to him is very reasonable, so, after that long talk, I just want to try to make some changes in my work. One day, I was there at night to finish something I didn't finish during the day. After nine o'clock, before it was finished, the leader came over and said, why don't you come and do it tomorrow. I looked at the rest and felt it would be finished soon, so I said I would go home after I finished it. By the time I finished, it was already ten o'clock. If it is usually, such a late situation, I usually do not have a good look on my face. Oddly enough, my complaints have stopped for a long time since I tried to make a little proactive change, and I wasn't unhappy at all that night. On my way home, I thought of some new ways other than my daily work for the first time. Early the next morning, after counting the data, the leader was very unhappy and criticized us for a long time as usual. I remember this has been going on for more than a month. In short, at that time, all people had an invisible pressure. I was very unhappy at the meeting myself, but when I sat in front of the computer after the meeting and saw the new method I had thought of the night before on the post-it note, I suddenly thought, what if I do these things in the same way that I brainwashed my brother? I quickly sorted out my ideas, then sorted out my plans, sent them to the leader, and pushed them forward at a great speed. 

An hour later, I was called into the office alone. Unlike in the past, with a sad face, he was particularly happy that day and said, "you can try it your way. I think it will be all right." I was also very happy, but I didn't say much. After listening to him, I turned and left. Before leaving, he suddenly shouted to me, "you can hand over some of your daily work to XX today." You know, he criticizes me every day, and he is so hard on me that it's all on these daily tasks, and today he says he can hand it over. More interestingly, he also said, "you move forward according to your plan, and you don't have to worry about this daily thing today." I felt very surprised as if for a moment, there was a feeling of relieving the past. On that day, I was so efficient that I got everything done quickly. At the end of the day, the leader came over to have a look and said, "go home early today." This is that half a year, the first time there is light outside the window, go home. When I finished packing, when I went out, I happened to meet him who had just come out of the bathroom. He patted me on the shoulder and said, "Brother, keep it up," strong> usually gives me the feeling that you are my hand, today I feel that you are my brain.  this is the first time I have felt relief from him, a kind of relaxation after a high degree of anxiety. He usually yelled at us for three or four, but in fact, he didn't mean to do so. From his point of view, it is not easy for us who are not very active, so when we are asked to do so according to the standards in his mind, we naturally do not do so satisfactorily everywhere. His work pressure should be even greater than ours, so he puts a lot of pressure on us in turn. I just took the initiative a little bit, thinking about doing something by myself, and then everything changed. My initiative relieved him of his mental pressure. 

And when I heard him talk about this kind of "hand and brain", I also understood him, so I said from the bottom of my heart, "We know it's not easy for you." All of a sudden, our relationship changed, and later we became good personal friends. My changes quickly affected my brother, and then I shared my practices with him. Just as he encountered a very thorny problem, we advised together and the results exceeded the expectations of their leaders. As a result, he tasted the benefits of the initiative and survived the most difficult months. He will change jobs in the future, but in fact, it is very touching for all of us to take the initiative to do things. Some time ago, when I was reading the Art of Communication, I found a new term called "self-disclosure". It made people laugh when I took a look at the details. Communication scientists see self-disclosure as part of privacy management. There are several obvious benefits of this self-disclosure, and I'm using this technique unwittingly. In the book, the author believes that self-disclosure can vent stress, but also produce reciprocity, self-clarification, relationship establishment, and maintenance. Of course, there are risks, such as being rejected, creating negative impressions, losing influence, and so on. My brother and I complained about our respective companies, which played a role in inventing the pressure on both sides. The different communication between me and the leader about "hand and brain" is that the leader uses self-disclosure and then achieves a state of reciprocity. At the same time, because of this disclosure, we got closer to each other. But this kind of thing has a lot to do with the timing of the conversation and my ideas. on the contrary, some people may think that the leader does not have strong professional skills and prestige because of such a dialogue. This also involves the principle of self-disclosure. Fortunately, at that time, I only noticed each other's empathy. In short, "I do" and "I take the initiative" may be important ways to improve our poor working conditions when we are too busy or idle. Of course, there is not blindly suggested that you pay headless and mindless, if it is unreasonable, still can not deceive yourself. On these issues, being honest with others will increase your chances, while being honest with yourself will reduce detours.