Of all the people in the world, I'd love to sleep with you.

(1) when the man came to me, I suddenly couldn't remember his name. But I remember him, of course. Because about four years ago, we slept together once. It was a dewy marriage because he was not single at the time. But even if he is single, I'm afraid we can't afford to have a relationship other than "sleep". Although I seem to be defending myself by saying this: although I slept with him, I am not a woman who sleeps with everyone. "Hi." "you haven't changed a bit." "No, no." I said politely. "nothing has changed." He laughed. That smile is special, as hearty as it was four years ago. "waiting for someone here?" "Yes, waiting for my boyfriend." I said. I didn't wait for anyone, and I didn't have a boyfriend at that time. When I say this, I just hope that he will go away as soon as possible. But he turned a deaf ear and sat down opposite me: "long time no see." "Yes." "I miss you very much." "Ah. I'd rather not. " "Why? What are you afraid of? " "of course, I'm afraid that the affair will be revealed." After saying this, I stood up and left.

(2) I was a little distracted all day because I saw him. To be honest, I thought he was dead. There was a party that evening, at which there was a former colleague. When she was whispering beside me, I suddenly interrupted her: "do you remember that I went to Hangzhou four years ago?" "I don't remember. How could I remember you? " "that's true, too." I replied wistfully. Four years ago, she and I worked in the same company and department, but today, four years later, she has inexplicably become the public relations director of a well-known brand, feeling that she has left me far behind in the pursuit of life. "speaking of which, why do you ask this all of a sudden?" "there's no reason." I said lightly, "but I remember asking for three days off at that time, don't you?" "of course I remember that!" She got excited and said, "when the project is most tight, you have to ask for leave at the crucial moment!" He also said that grandma was sick and went back to his hometown. " She was suddenly enlightened: "I'm going to Hangzhou!" Say, what did you do? " "you remember wrong, my grandmother is already dead, I can't lie like that." I went back disgruntled. "besides, I didn't have any urgent projects at that time when I asked for leave." How could I be so unprofessional? " "Haha." She said. All of a sudden, I got angry. Where did I offend this Bichi or something? Besides, what kind of projects or projects, at that time, we were just helping a few travel agencies to plan the activities of the elderly group. Speaking of which, it is true that he has become a director, and the whole system of words is different. It's a rather important party, but I'm going to leave early. I can't help it. Although I don't like to argue with people on the surface, I like to be angry. "you're leaving? I can't wait for who? " "No waiting. I'm in a hurry. Let me know when he comes. " "No, I'm not going to take your message." The director beeped. "Why are you always like this?" You always don't face your affairs, and you always let others clean up your mess. " "Haha." I said. If we take it seriously, I'm afraid there will be a quarrel on the spot. In the taxi back, the "then who" call came. "Why did you leave first?" He asked, with a hint of concern in his voice, but he had always been the same to anyone. "I agreed to go because I wanted to see you." "Sorry, it's urgent." "shall we talk alone some other time?" "all right." It's not about personal matters. Then who was the former leader of me and the director? At that time, we had all just graduated and somehow got into the planning department of a senior magazine, working on business development, that is, a series of collaborations with any other place where we might invest money. At first, because of the Olympic Games, the work was quite prosperous for a while. Many elderly people from other places want to travel to Beijing, and there is almost no need for us to look for them, and many travel agencies are also catching up with us, scrambling to cooperate with us. This situation gives us a lot of room for expansion. "what a great planner you did at that time. What impresses me most is the one-day tour you planned. Do you remember? Although it is an ordinary one-day trip to those places, the themes and souvenirs you have prepared are very in place. Send Bodhi fruit! Who would have thought! The cost is not high, and the evaluation of the travel agency is also very good. You three little girls are amazing. " The three little girls are me, the editor-in-chief, and the American editor. At that time, the chief editor was responsible for contacting clients, I was responsible for special project planning and manuscript writing, and the American editor was responsible for design and printing. The small department composed of the three of us won the award for outstanding contribution from the whole magazine that year. Unfortunately, the good times didn't last long. "what a pity." Then everyone sighed in the same way. However, he always likes to feel this way, so I won't take it to heart. "wherever I go, I've never seen a team as good as you." "Thank you for your praise." Then who, that is, the leader is doing very well now. Looks like the vice president of a film and television company. I didn't get in touch with him much, but a few days ago he suddenly called me and said he wanted to poach me. "what are you doing now?" At the end of the call, he asked with concern. "nothing." I said. "Oh." He sighed as if he wanted to say "pity" later, so I hung up quickly. It's the same here and now. After thanking the leader for praise, if you don't cooperate with him to express his feelings about the past, he will feel embarrassed. But I don't want to look back. But I do remember one thing. Beauty editor. Someone asked for leave in the name of grandma's serious illness, but it wasn't me, it was the editor. I haven't seen her for a long time. All of a sudden, her appearance was very clear in my mind. A girl with a round face and big eyes. Her face, for some reason, keeps showing pimples in unexpected places, so she buys skincare products for most of her money every month. She was the first one in our small team to resign. And it's not the kind of happy resignation that has been planned for a long time to find a better job, but "I know."The "God is not coming to work" kind of resignation. It's like hitting every one of us on the head. After she left, the so-called best team in history fell apart. Although soon attracted a new editor, compared with her, although there is no technical gap, or even more skilled, always feel a little less. Right! I remember that it was at the critical moment of a project that the American editor suddenly said that grandma was seriously ill, so she asked for leave regardless of it. It was probably not long after she came back from leave that she resigned.

(3) soon after the American editor resigned, I also resigned from that magazine. At the time, there was nothing wrong with that resignation. I almost doubled my salary when I went to another more glamorous newspaper. That man met just before he resigned. However, it is not because of work that we know each other. There is no overlap between our work and life. He works in a foreign company, which seems to specialize in producing all kinds of switches. It seemed to take him a long time to explain his work to me, but I couldn't understand it. Maybe it's because I can't understand that I'm willing to sleep with him. Can not understand the world, feel a flawless white. After sleeping, I deleted his number. Until that night, I always thought he had deleted my number, too. But four years later, he called. Although it was a strange number, I knew right away that it was him. His first words were: "Don't hang up." And then: "I want to see you." "enough is enough." "have you been having a bad time lately?" "what does it have to do with you." "I have something very important to say to you, very important." With that, he hung up the phone. Then sent a text message to the time and place of the meeting.

(4) of course I won't go to see him. See him, what's wrong with me? Although there is no contact, I guess he is married. Because four years ago, he told me that there was a fiancee who had been talking for a long time and planned to get married this year. Besides, what I probably know is that he once tried to commit suicide. I forgot the name of the medicine he took. He tried to take one first. As a result, he fell asleep almost immediately and hit his head on the computer keyboard. The fiancee who felt something different in the dialog came and saved his life. These things have nothing to do with me. But what I care a little bit about is who he learns that I'm not doing well. I don't know. It's not good. Now I have no job and no boyfriend. However, I don't like it when people say all this in a sad tone. Compared with before I resigned, my life is slowly getting back on track. It's hell on earth to be the editorial director of a newspaper that goes out twice a week. Maybe I should have resigned a long time ago, but I held on for four years. In these four years, I have to face the fear of "I am not up to the job" every day. What exactly is the problem? I am a strong woman who won the Outstanding Contributions Award just after graduation. At that time, there was no doubt that I played the most important role in the whole team. No matter how demanding the requirements are and how unreasonable the ideas are, I can finally come up with a solution that they are satisfied with, no matter how demanding and unreasonable the clients brought in by the director (at that time, outreach at that time). The promotional copy is exciting, the travel design is full of tricks, and the gifts are unexpected and happy. Being so smart and capable, I would be stretched in the new working environment, boycotted by subordinates, scolded by my boss, and even almost opened the skylight several times, and had to work overtime all night to make up the manuscript, which I had never thought of before I changed my job. Why on earth is this?

(5) "because there's something wrong with the way you work." The director said bluntly, "there's a big problem." The former leader said he wanted to talk to me alone, but in the end, he invited my former colleague. We had lunch at a frequented restaurant near our original unit. Although it was the old address, it had been changed from Shangdao Coffee to Yunnan Restaurant. I don't know whether it was low-level or high-end. "what's the problem?" I said quietly. But I want to punch her in the face. "you don't have much self-awareness, and you will agree to whatever the customer says. There are some things that I don't think need to be done at all, but you will always do it and make yourself work very hard." What? Is that wrong, too? "of course it is." With a smile on her face, she inhaled lime water nonchalantly. That gesture seems to say, now I am the director, and you are a loafer, which itself is the answer to the question. "all right, let's not talk about this!" The former leader lamented, "everyone has both shortcomings and advantages." As a leader, these are all taken into account when recruiting people. When I interviewed the three of you at that time, I thought that these three little girls would make a career together. Oh, what a pity. " "what a pity." The director giggled and I suddenly remembered that I was very tired of her frivolous laughter at that time, but I always held back. On the face of it, we are a loving team, all the time. "what a pity." The director repeated, "by the way, Xiao Hui will come over later." She seems to be doing well now. " Hsiao Hui is our beauty editor. I was surprised because I hadn't heard from her for a long time. It's not that I haven't looked for her-I care about her as a friend. But in fact, I am also very indifferent to my friends. It's not that I don't care about friendship, but I always think that I have nothing to contact others, have dinner together, chat casually, and so on. I'm sorry. Even if I just make such a request to others, my palms will sweat with nervousness. However, I am really glad to see Hsiao Hui again. Happy from the bottom of my heart. It seems that after she resigned, she went to Tibet by bike. After that, I haven't heard from her. Now she has almost no acne on her face, and she seems to have lost more than ten jin. She looks in great shape. "everyone is here today. I'm glad we're all here. " The leader rubbed his hands contentedly. "to tell you the truth, there has always been a mystery in my mind, that is, Hsiao Hui, why did you suddenly resign?" "because I can't stand her anymore."Hsiao Hui answered briskly. Can't stand it? I looked at the director questioningly, but Hsiao Hui's face turned to me unmistakably. "it's you. I can't stand you at all." Hsiao Hui said, "always figuring out what other people want, everything is good, OK, constantly please others, so that the whole team is always futile, and the design draft has been changed again and again." He still looks innocent and innocent. What a nuisance! "

(6) "your former colleague came to our company." He said, "the art director of our internal magazine." Sure enough, everyone became director. "are you still selling switches?" I asked. Speaking of what internal journals a company selling switches need to run, this is something I can't understand. "Yes, it's still selling switches." He smiled. "and it's still selling that kind of switch." He is as neatly dressed as he was four years ago. The face is clean, sprayed with a touch of cologne, and the whole person doesn't get fat at all. Thinking that one can live a decent life by selling switches, the world may not be so bad. The first time we met, he talked to me about different switches for more than 40 minutes, such as low-voltage, medium-voltage, intelligent switches, switches for mines, switches for residential buildings. Although I was confused, I listened silently without interrupting him. I must have been very tired at that time. It's the kind of tiredness that suddenly feels discouraged in an energetic life. After Hsiao Hui resigned, we temporarily found an art editor and at least finished the project at that time. However, for some reason, the activity did not work well and the number of participants was very small. It just so happens that the other party is an old customer who cooperates all year round and complains to us. On the one hand, the leader called each other and said, "it's all my responsibility." at the same time, he deliberately wanted the voice to be loud enough for us to hear clearly. The so-called workplace is ferocious, the leader deducted our bonus that month. If I make it clear that I am now, my mood at that time is me, annoying, annoying, you, you, all, you, people. But those who can do nothing to hate the world can only hate themselves deeply. But I don't hate the man on the other side at all. I can't hate it anyway. "you don't know anything about switches, but you just listen to me all the time, and even though you're not interested at all, you still ask me a few questions from time to time." "maybe it's because I always please others and the world," I said. "I never thought so." The man opposite said, "that's what your former colleague said about you, but I never thought so." Suddenly I realized that it was because he wanted to say this to me that he appeared in front of me. Maybe I sat in front of him because I wanted to hear him say this. He ran so far, bearing my cold face and rejection, just to tell me this sentence, and when I thought of it, I knew how much I trusted him, all the time. Although I still can't remember his name. He should have told me, but I forgot on purpose. We met in a one-night stand forum. Before buying me a ticket to Hangzhou, he told me frankly that he was going to get married. "Oh," I said. But I didn't ask anything. I just want to do something that goes too far-the better over the fire. After that, he never mentioned his fiancee again, nor did he explain why he did such a dirty thing. He just kept talking about the switch. At that time, he was involved in making a switch for an old house in Europe, which seemed to be a powerful intelligent security system. He talked to me painstakingly for a long time, but I didn't even understand what the zero line and the line of fire were. "it's not interesting." Finally, he said dejectedly. "No. I think it's very interesting. " I said, "I don't understand, but I feel very powerful." After saying this, I quickly drank up the wine in the glass. With the strength of alcohol, he kissed him hard on the mouth. Until that moment, I had been thinking about getting away with it. "I like and want to chat with you more than with you on Rest." "I regret it when I think that I may never be able to talk to you again. I wish I hadn't slept at that time."

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(7) but still asleep. At this time four years later. I don't have to sleep, and I'm not in such a state of lust. He took off my clothes and kissed me very gently. Just like four years ago, there is a hint of timidity in tenderness. Many things in the world have changed, but this subtle sense of cleanliness and tenderness remains the same. At last, he leaned on my chest and cried. "I want to die. All the time. " That's what he said to me. I touched his hair and wanted to say some comforting words to him, the kind of real comforting words, without any perfunctory, full of sincerity, the gentlest words that people have always wanted to say, but no one has ever succeeded in saying, as long as it is said, it can erase all tiredness and heal all wounds. But I can't say anything. But I don't want to die, and I don't want to cry. "Let's do it again," I said in his ear.