Marriage is really not that scary.

yesterday, because I did not agree to publish articles that hurt readers, an advertising cooperation we talked about fell through directly, resulting in a loss of six figures. When I got home, it was almost nine o'clock before I had dinner, and I had to comfort the editor who had been hurt ten thousand points by Party A. As a result, my husband looked at me and said, "it's all right. I can't afford it for them in the future."

 at that moment, I thought that four years ago, I said to him: I want to resign. After working for so many years, I am too tired. He said: rest when you are tired. In fact, at that time, we had just bought a house, and after a year of austerity, we had just alleviated financially. Not only that, he also helped me to keep a secret from my parents for fear that they would criticize me.  
 people around me often ask me, how on earth do you manage your marriage? seeing those unhappy marriages around you, I think marriage is so terrible! I don't want to show love and abuse single dogs. Let's talk about some of my own experience in running a marriage.

01

[the right people are independent of each other]

many people think that I am a lucky person. I published a book and accidentally sold 2 million copies. But for me, the greatest luck in life is to meet someone who treats you not only as a woman, but also as a woman with an independent personality.

 Mr.

said a few days ago: only someone like me can be your husband. I thought for a moment, I am so thoughtful, independent-minded, and often make their own decisions, but he thinks that men who can listen to the old woman are promising. But if you really encounter arrogant and self-abased straight male cancer, I'm afraid you'll have to fight a lot.

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if the personality is independent, two people will be responsible for each other instead of quarreling all the time. Who is not responsible enough and who is the culprit?

and the greatest advantage of independent personality is that it is not easy to get bored, and you can always find growth and change in each other.

02

[Trust is the basis for common growth]

A friend asked me a few days ago that his husband was going to resign from his senior executive position in a listed company and consider starting a business. She was very worried, afraid of his business failure, afraid of the family's financial breadwinner. I told her that this kind of worry is mistrust and is a very negative energy field. A really good wife should calculate how much cash and fixed assets the family still has, and then tell him confidently: because of your efforts for so many years, now that the family has at least enough food and clothing, you can rest assured to do what you want to do.

 for me, when I decided to freelance, I hadn't published a book and didn't have any fixed income in writing. But he is still willing to believe me, with his efforts in exchange for me to do my favorite career.

so I also have a wish. I hope I work hard enough to let him have a good rest and do what he likes in the future.

03

[what is high-quality companionship]

in the two years after I resigned, he worked really hard. I remember that for half a year, he turned every day without a day off. The way I accompany him is to take a computer to accompany him to work overtime in his company. And I tried to take care of almost everything else in the family, giving him a very stable rear.

in addition to writing, I clean the house every day, replace it with fresh lilies and cook in different ways. Of course, the result is that because my cooking is so good, the two of us have gained ten jin together.

who said that there is a kind of love, which is to make each other fat.

but these are also the most basic companions. When two people are together, they must have high-quality chat and common hobbies. After a few years of marriage, when we had children, we would go out for a walk after the children had a rest. Two people will often go to the movies.

some people will ask, what are you talking about? We will talk about economic and historical novels, recent popular movies, and recent hot topics.

but in reality, many couples have nothing in common except their children. That's because too many women know nothing about anything but family chores and movie stars, and they don't want to know. Therefore, women must open their minds and expand their reading horizons so that you can give high-quality companionship.

04

[No job does not mean no ambition]

people often ask me, how should a stay-at-home wife live? After taking care of the child for a few years, I almost lost myself. Fortunately, what my mother taught me from an early age is that women must be independent. Therefore, when I proposed to do freelance work, even if I had to undertake housework, I never thought that I was a full-time wife, and I would stress to him that I also had my own work to do.

Reading, writing, and even watching movies are all part of my job. Many people ask me how my first book was written, that is, every time of inspiration outside the trivialities of life, which is usually late at night. He was fast asleep and I turned on a night light to write in the living room.

this kind of life choice, I call it a career. It's not a career measured by income and profit, but what you want to do, something you're willing to focus on, or even something you're willing to devote half your life to.

 if you have one, you should confidently let the other person know, not compromise. My best friend Cang Yang Beima said that the reason why she fell in love with me at first sight was that I said such a few words to her when we met for the first time. I told her that I would leave the baby's diaper milk powder for a few hours every day and go to the downstairs cafe to order a cup of coffee and work for a few hours. Those hours belong to me and can't be occupied.To use and disturb. She said she was moved by the aura of my words.  
 

as a writer, it took me several years to make everyone in my family realize that this is really my ambition, not a joke, not an excuse for Slack Off not to work, and even a job that requires more hard work and concentration, which is no less than the senior white-collar workers in office buildings.

05

[I am happy, you feel free]

in those two years, he could not take a holiday every holiday, but he never said that I had to stay at home because he worked hard. So, carefree, I went to a lot of places to travel. But when I got pregnant and gave birth to a son, he finally had time to do something he liked, so I never asked him to stay with me all the time because I was a pregnant woman.

readers often ask me what is the biggest secret of my happy marriage, which is in six words: I am happy, you are at will. What I care about is the freshness of the marriage, and both of them can breathe the air of freedom, rather than forcing everyone to get stuck in responsibility and have nowhere to run. The so-called marriage must be responsible for its own responsibility, and two people with independent personalities do not need to be tied together in order to be in love.

 my best friend once marveled that when you were just out of the month, he went fishing! I smiled and said to them: can he replace my breast milk? I can't go to work instead of him. He has his own hobbies and is good at relieving stress.

I often tell my friends that I am an informal woman, so the way I run my marriage is to grasp the big and release the small, and freedom, trust and respect is the most important thing. As for littering clothes and squeezing toothpaste, I never pay attention to this kind of thing at all.

  my friends said that he and I are really a rare learning couple, and both of us are growing and making progress. After thinking about it, I'm afraid it's because we have less internal friction, so we all have better energy and happier mood to grow up.

06

[our maverick marriage]

his classmates for many years told me: we always thought it would be difficult for a Mustang like him to get married, but I didn't expect to meet you.

for an unusual woman like me, we can be regarded as doing harm for the people when we meet a man like him who is willing to give me freedom.

I asked him the other day that when I weighed 140kg, you must have lied to me that I was still beautiful. He said: of course, or what do you think? Just when I was about to throw a "I knew it" look in my eyes, he said solemnly: it was because I didn't know it could be more beautiful.

 Don't envy me. In fact, at first, the gentleman of my family was happy to tease and beat me. I was angry and upset about it, but when I didn't care about it and did a good job of myself, he naturally changed.  
 this is the energy field of marriage. When your energy is upward, it will be affected. Of course, first of all, because he is also a very upward person.  
 

but, I think, any happy marriage is essentially because there is a deeper connection between the hearts beyond the low-level binding. This kind of marriage does not need to spend so much communication cost. This kind of marriage, can be transparent, is a big house with big floor-to-ceiling windows, sunshine and wind, rather than turning into a narrow, dark and stuffy room.

 in fact, there is really nothing important in life except life and death. Do not drill into the details of the marriage calculation, but can make the marriage better. Because in the final analysis, we are all living ourselves, and nothing is more important than this.