It really matters who you're with.

I have heard such a short story:

A little monk came across a pile of fragrant soil by the side of the mountain. He secretly said that he was surprised and brought him back to the monastery. As a result, the whole house was fragrant.

the monk was so overjoyed that he thought he had met a rare treasure. So cheerfully informed the host, the host took a look and told him: "this is just the most common soil."

"then why is it so fragrant?"

the host asked the monk, "where did you meet the dirt?"

the monk thought for a moment and said, "I met in a rose garden at the foot of the mountain."

"that's right, only because the soil has been in contact with roses for a long time, and the soil has the fragrance of roses."

so it doesn't matter who you are, it's who you are with.

with roses for a long time, ordinary soil will curl; close to the manger, fragrant perfume can not cover the stench.

A straw is worthless, but if tied to a crab, the value can be increased by tens of thousands of times.

the reason why Meng's mother moved three times is to choose a suitable learning environment for her children.

as scientists say: "Man is the only animal that can accept cues." If you don't choose the right circle, the swan will be reduced to a noisy sparrow on the branches.

"Thrushcross sparrows have different voices, golden rooster birds have different nests". If you come into contact with different people, you will have different destinies. If you look at your circle, you will know your future.

with reliable people, you will become stable and magnanimous;

meet positive people, you will become cheerful;

when you get in touch with kind people, you will also be broad-minded.

01

reliable people

there are often smart people, but very few reliable people.

Zeng Guofan recorded such a sentence in his family letter: although men are in the Yamen of the Ministry of Etiquette, they do the usual things for the country, they are unremitting, they are organized, and they wish deeply.

the meaning of "unremitting, organized" means to do everything in a down-to-earth manner, not to muddle through, let alone slack off.

everything must be done, and it is reliable to put everything into practice.

reliable people never blow their own trumpet, promise things beyond their abilities, and respond to the demands of others.

since their words are irrevocable, as long as they promise, they will try their best to complete them. Even if you can't finish it, you will take responsibility for your actions to the end.

being with such a person is not only at ease, but also at ease.

but in life, there are more people like this:

clearly promised in advance, but when approaching, they put off three obstacles and four changes of mind;

put it off in a good way, but use all kinds of excuses and never take action;

make a promise to your face and forget all about it in the twinkling of an eye.

to live with such a man who goes back on his word, if you don't say it, it will be easy to infect the unreliable temperament in the long run.

the Analects of Confucius said: "people do not have faith, I do not know what they can do. How can a cart and a trolley do not have a wheel? "

means that a person who goes back on his word is like a car without wheels. Just imagine, how can you go far with such an unreliable person?

02

A positive person

there is such a story in the words of Confucius:

Confucius said that after his death, Zi Xia would make more progress than before, while Zi Gong would fall back.

when Zengzi asked why, Confucius explained:

"if Zi Xia likes to be with people who are wiser than himself, then his moral cultivation will improve day by day, but Zi Gong likes to get along with people who are not as good as himself, and his moral cultivation will gradually lose."

as Confucius said, a circle of positive energy is of great benefit to people's growth.

just as psychology thinks: the vibration frequency of energy can transmit and influence each other.

if you are in a positive energy environment, it will attract the same good things, and that's what "happy events" says;

if you are in a negative energy environment for a long time, your surroundings will become dim and bad luck will be entangled with it.

such people don't like anyone. They complain about everything and point everywhere. No matter how much you comfort and encourage them, they complain and frown.

as the saying goes: "follow the butterfly, you will find the fragrant flowers; follow the fly, you can only reach the dirty ditch."

even if you are good yourself, you will become mediocre if you associate with such people for a long time.

"you must choose your neighbor and make good friends."

as talented as Li Bai, his friends must also be everlasting talents;

his friends are all knowledgeable literary masters like Hu Shi;

both virtue and art are like Chen Daoming, and most of his friends are artists of noble character.

stay away from negative people and things, and get close to people with positive energy.

"think of the virtuous, but introspect when you see the unvirtuous", communicate more with excellent people, and learn from their optimistic and peaceful state of mind, perseverance, and courage not afraid of hardships and dangers.

over time, you will become the same person.

03

good people

The room of Angelica dahurica, which has not heard its fragrance for a long time, has melted with it. And evil human settlements, such as entering the restaurant of abalone, for a long time but do not smell its stench, but also with it. "

Transform you to look more beautiful in our rustic lace wedding dress! You'll be pleased with your sophisticated look.

means that getting along with good people is like bathing in a house full of fragrance from planting sesame orchids. You can't smell the fragrance after a long time, but it is already full of fragrance.

often get along with bad people, just like a workshop selling salted fish. Even if you don't smell it for a long time, you will blend into the environment.

the ancients are warning us that when we make friends with others, we must first look at the character of this person.

if this person is well-behaved, you will become clean in your words and deeds if you have a good acquaintance with him; if you have bad conduct, you will certainly get along with him or her.

they have a good acquaintance with you on the surface, but in fact they are the most insidious and will not hesitate to hurt you for the sake of profit.

Shen Kuo also sympathized with Su Shi, a literary master, and gave him his hand, but when Su Shi was released, he pretended to boo the cold to ask for warmth, deceived Su Shi's poems, exposed and reported him, resulting in Su Shi being jailed and nearly lost his life.

it is said that in times of crisis, we should insert a knife for a friend, but a villain often stabs a friend for fame and fortune.

so people, ah, must choose the good.

when you look at people, you have to look at your character, and you have to give your heart to others.

good people will not only lend a helping hand when you are at a low ebb, but also give sincere blessings when you are in full bloom.

get along with it, enter can embrace full of fragrance, retreat can rely on a firm back.

there are many bad people in the world, but more of them are good people.

when you choose to be friends with kind people, you are conveying kindness and planting Fukuda for yourself.

04

in Xunzi's persuasion to learn, it is said: "Peng Sheng Ma Zhong, do not help but straight; White sand in Nirvana, with it black."

Pengxi grew up in the hemp field, so he naturally straightened up without support. The fine white sand mixed in the black soil will turn black with it.

this is what we are familiar with as "those who are close to red and those who are close to ink are black".

people are always imperceptibly influenced by the people around them, so it is important to choose the right circle of friends.

whether you can have a safe and smooth life depends not only on yourself, but also on who you are with.

the rest of your life is not long. May you find one or two good friends and no longer go to the lonely shore alone.