If you talk too much, you will lose. Keep your mouth shut and see self-cultivation.

01

hurtful words, do not say

ancient clouds, the mouth can spit roses, but also can spit thistles.

sometimes, it is not the sharp weapon that hurts people the most, but the language.

language is far more powerful than we think.

A cold word may leave a scar on other people's hearts that will always caress them.

I have read such a story:

there is a hunter who keeps a bear picked up in the mountains from an early age. They had a very deep relationship, but one day, the bear spoiled a piece of corn in the neighbor's house.

when the neighbor came to ask for compensation, he was so angry that he picked up a stick and hit the bear, and kept scolding:

after the fight, he drove the bear out of the house.

the next day, he regretted it, but the bear had returned to the mountain and he couldn't find it.

later, when he went hunting in the mountain, the hunter came across a tiger and thought he was going to die this time, but the bear suddenly appeared to drive the tiger away and saved him.

he walked forward happily, stroked the bear, and said:

the bear said:

then the bear walked away without looking back.

many people have felt this way.

physical pain is forgotten after the pain, but a hurtful word from others can make you sad for a long time, even though it has been many years, it is still hard to let go of it.

in the last episode of Zengguang Xianwen, it is said: "hurting a person is as good as a knife."

when conflicts occur, many people will be carried away by anger and will not choose their words. They will poke every word at each other's most painful place.

by the time you calm down and try to make amends, it will be too late.

emotion is a very fragile thing. If you cut it up, you will leave a mark. If you scratch too much, it will become riddled with holes.

so remember under all circumstances, don't say hurtful words.

Don't cause harm to others and leave regrets to yourself just because of the pleasure of the moment.

02

one sentence, a few words, can cause a misunderstanding or even end a relationship.

I almost lost a friend because I said the wrong thing:

my friend's name is Yu Wei, she is a patient with severe depression.

once she confided to me when she was very sad. To encourage her, I said:

then I told her about my difficult time, which was to cheer her up and give her the strength to tide over the difficulties, but after listening to it, she stopped talking.

she has hardly spoken to me from the bottom of her heart since then.

it took a long time until her depression had completely improved, and Yu Wei told me how she felt at that time:

the same sentence sounds very different to people in different circumstances.

maybe we have good intentions, but it may be counterproductive because of carelessness and improper expression and hurt the people we care about.

as the saying goes, once the words are spilled, they cannot be taken back.

because of this, think about whether it is appropriate to say each sentence from the other person's point of view before saying it.

especially some ambiguous words, you should think twice before you act.

the influence of a sentence often takes ten times and a hundred times the effort to recover. Only by being cautious can misunderstandings be avoided.

03

negative words say less

there are two scholars with similar literary talent to go to Beijing to take the exam together, on the way to the examination room, they met a funeral procession.

seeing the black coffin, one scholar was heartbroken and muttered to himself:

however, when another scholar saw the coffin, he said happily:

so, the two went to take the exam in a different moods, and sure enough, the negative scholar failed, while the positive scholar won the top prize.

there is a psychological concept called "self-fulfilling language":

once we say a sentence, we will push things in the direction of the sentence to prove ourselves right.

this is the so-called "one word into words".

sometimes we fail to do something, not because it is so difficult or because of bad luck, but just because we give ourselves negative psychological cues from the beginning.

so we should be wary of ourselves. If we have negative energy, we should say less if we can.

because when the words "I can't" and "I can't do it" are said, what may have been done becomes extremely difficult.

negative energy affects not only yourself but also the people around you.

when Cai Kangyong talked about getting along with people with negative words in an interview, he said:

when I was in college, the school organized a trip to the West Lake, and it happened to be a light rain that day. One of my classmates was complaining endlessly:

"it's not easy to come here to catch up with this damned weather!"

"either make it bigger or don't, it's so annoying under drizzle!"

as a result, the people in the class were also very depressed by what he said. They all lost their interest in playing and could only go home in advance.

but at night in the hotel, I saw the students in the class next door. I came back in high spirits.

because on the same rainy day, the monitor of their class said:

the same situation, two different words, resulting in a completely different mood between the two classes.

instead of complaining, it is better to change.

only by devoting your energy to solving problems or changing your mindset can we jump out of the current predicament and move towards sunny weather after the rain.

04

Laozi mentioned in Daojing: "it is better to keep the middle than to speak too much."

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means that the more people say, the easier it is to get themselves into trouble, so it's better to keep the words in your heart.

being cautious in words and deeds is not a constraint, but a kind of wisdom.

powerful people are not eloquent, have both sides, and can make witty remarks on any occasion.

but know how to speak when you should, and keep silent when you shouldn't.

Don't say hurtful words, don't let your mouth turn into regret;

be careful to say things that are easily misunderstood, and don't let good intentions do bad things;

Don't let yourself and others get deeper and deeper in the quagmire of frustration.

to keep your mouth shut is to keep your blessing.