I don't want to be grateful to those who hurt me.

1.

when I was in primary school, I would take my small wooden stool to the playground and listen to the inspirational tutor invited by the school to give an emotional speech.

under the moving background music, the students at the bottom secretly talked and joked with the people around them. The bald mentor on the stage cleared his throat and shouted to the naive us, "it is he who sharpens my mind who is grateful for hurting me; it is he who enhances my wisdom for those who deceive me; and he is grateful for those who despise me." it was he who awakened my self-esteem! "

when this sentence was finished, there was warm applause from the audience. Although I didn't like it, many girls in front of me began to cry.

this is something I haven't understood all the time. Why do adults always want me to learn to thank those who have hurt me and say "thank you" instead of getting their apologies?

2.

Dad once told me a story about his youth.

because his family was so poor that he was forced to go to the normal college. After graduating with honors, my diligent father was assigned to the No. 2 Middle School in the city with excellent benefits as a high school teacher.

after learning the allocation list, he happily went back to his dormitory to pack his bags and planned to report to City No. 2 Middle School the next day and then live in a singleton apartment arranged by the school.

but unexpectedly, when he went to the new teacher's report place the next day, his name on the red list was crossed out with a slight brush and replaced with the name of a relative of a municipal party official. As a result, he only became a junior high school teacher in No. 4 Middle School in the suburbs.

Dad complained to the principal's office, but it seems unlikely to change. He picked up his luggage, took a hard look at the new name "through the back door" on the big red list, and left here.

the first time I heard this story, I eagerly asked my father, "do you hate the man who replaced you?"

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"at that time, I felt very unfair, but after so many years, I didn't think there was anything to hate. It was only because of him that I met your mother in No. 4 Middle School. "

I don't quite understand what my father thinks, because without that person, he might be better off than he is now. He went on to say:

maybe the rest of life would be different without him. But I think it's good now, and if I do it all over again, I'll still choose to live like this. " Dad smiled, as if everything had faded. He turned his head, sank into the sofa and carefully looked at the bright sword.

after a while, he seemed to think something was wrong, and then turned to me and said, "in fact, I still don't have any good feelings for this person. To be exact, I am grateful for fate." I am very satisfied with me now, that person is just one of the factors in fate. "

ever since I was a child, I have always seen my father's efforts. In the evening, I came home from self-study and sometimes it was ten o'clock, but he still didn't come back. But no matter how late he is, he can still go to work at eight o'clock on time.

I have always thought that whether he ends up working in No. 2 Middle School with generous benefits or No. 4 Middle School with poor conditions, his character has decided that he will try his best to make himself excellent. The poor tactics of that man only changed the trajectory of his father's life and did not help his whole life.

3.

A week ago, it was our second anniversary party. The editors got together for dinner, and everyone expressed their feelings before the meal. Editor Allen told me something about his childhood, which impressed me very much.

"since childhood, my family is relatively rich and can often follow my father in and out of various social venues. In the past, I was always afraid to see those adults because they always made fun of me.

so, in various places, I often hide behind my father. My father often sighed to his friends,'my son is too timid and introverted to accomplish anything in the future.' Not only that, I have also heard relatives comment behind my back that this child is not good at grades and introverted, and his head is probably not very good. "

adults always think that children don't know anything, but we can always remember a lot of uncomfortable words when we are young. Allen continued:

Middle School, in order to improve my academic performance, I even competed with my deskmate. He did one homework and I wrote two. If he finishes filling in the blanks in 10 minutes, I must finish it in 8 minutes.

but even so, my grades are not good. On one occasion, when the score came out, I had to take the test paper for my parents to sign. My parents smiled when they saw the score and said, 'Don't fight like that. I really don't want to be a security guard after reading. I won't starve you to death.' "

Allen's childhood, too many similar things happened. It took him a long time to get out of his inferiority complex. "until now, when I go to college, I often question myself when I am alone, and I think I can't."

listening to Allen's feelings, I also think of a lot of things.

I have had a strong desire to perform since the fourth grade. The reason is very simple, at that time the head teacher was a good-looking female teacher, her greatest feature is to say, "you can!"

at that time, the school held a "primary school poetry recitation contest", she said to me, "you go to participate, father will be happy to win the prize." There is a "live composition contest" in the city, and she will call me to the office and say, "I've signed you up, you try it." I said I had no literary talent in writing, but she still told me, "you can do it. Show it to me after you finish it."

later, the school held a Children's Day International Children's Day party, and she encouraged me to go to crosstalk with my deskmate. Although I was afraid to stand in the middle of the stage, I went with her encouragement. As a result, crosstalk has been performed for three years, New Year's Day and Liu every year.For one or two parties, I could not do without my deskmate. From then on, there will be no shortage of city-sized talent competitions.

looking back, I always feel that I was a bright children's star at that time, all because of her simple "you can" mantra, and this positive attitude has been with me to this day.

in fact, if you pay attention, you will find that most of the people who can stand up and thank the hurt have made some remarkable achievements. Too many people fall into a trough that you can't see after being hurt.

4.

in a speech at the university, I heard the words "hurting you is to make you stronger, hitting you is to make you more progressive." the speaker on the stage sounded as if he was encouraging us, hurting or hitting the people around him with direct words, as if it would help them grow.

No matter how good or bad I am now, the injuries of those days are still stuck in my heart like a knife. Whether you become strong because of this injury, or never recover from it, the wound in this memory is still evidence of its existence.

maybe after many years, with our own efforts, our lives have finally changed and let bygones be bygones. But it is important to recognize that our lives are better not because of them, but because of our co-creation with the people who support me.

these days, the last person named Vincent who saw Zhihu said something like this: "wrong logic: thank you for your hurt to make me strong." Correct logic: it is precisely because I am strong that I am not defeated by you. "

finally, what I want to express is not to resent the people who hurt us.

but that we should always warn ourselves not to be like them.