How important it is to praise others without stinginess

I didn't say "sincerely admire others". It was said by Carnegie, which was mentioned at the beginning of "the weakness of Human Nature", which I didn't understand or care about before, and equated it with flattery. It was not until later that I realized how important it was to "sincerely appreciate others".

Let's start with two little things.

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(1)

is also for work reasons to get in touch with a well-known person in the circle, and the first meeting is an interview. I have heard all kinds of rumors before, such as he is very difficult and proud. For example, he has a lot of fanatical fans, such as his amazing words.

after collecting all kinds of materials, I prepared dozens of questions. as a result, when I saw that my face was pressed by the aura, I couldn't raise any questions at all. I was always afraid that my questions would be scoffed at by him, so I had to listen to him all the time and memorize them silently. I also feel that I'd better not open my mouth too much in front of him, and come to attend a lecture in a field that is strange to me.

later, he probably realized that many of the questions I had prepared were not finished, so he called and asked me to find him again. Later, when the interview draft came out, he thought it was still the case, so he asked me to help him write occasionally. There is no confidence in my heart, and I am not sure that I will be able to write well, but in line with maintaining a good customer relationship, I said yes on the forehead and panicked with guilt.

send it to him as soon as I finish an article. People with advanced procrastination like me usually hand in their manuscripts before the 12-hour store in the middle of the night. He called at 12:30 and said it was so good, and I liked it so much.

I thought it was polite, and I didn't worry about it.

then every time I gave it to him, I often made an ocean call abroad and said it was great. I saw what you wrote again, every time.

you know, it's polite at once or twice, but every time, you start to wonder, is it really good? The important thing at this time is not whether the writing is good or not, but that I can do it without swinging, without worries and doubts, and the whole person becomes relaxed. I feel inexplicable that I may have mastered another skill.

(2)

one day very late, a boyfriend suddenly sent a message saying, I seem to have fallen in love with a girl, she is different from what I have met before. I only replied "tell her" and hurriedly went to Rest, and then he started another series of self-doubt, God! Do straight men have that kind of ink? So you began to encourage that you are very good, excellent, and capable, and are you afraid of a confession after such a rich love experience? And the straight guy didn't talk to me.

about half an hour later, I was about to fall asleep when the straight man happily sent me "I got it".

well, that's not bad. It's great to encourage others and save single dogs!

think this is the end of the story?

A few days later he told me with a depressed look on his face that god she said she was a Christian. I almost laughed at that moment. For a straight Aries man, it was too desperate not to have sex before marriage.

(3)

I don't know when we are deeply influenced by the sarcastic way of speaking in "Kangxi is coming". Friends regard mutual harm and complaint as the highest state of friendship and deeply love each other. Now I hate this kind of unfunny complaint.

this approach doesn't seem to do any good except for momentary jokes. If you accidentally poke a sore spot, you won't be able to recover for a long time. Maybe he has been preparing for a long time and has an idea that when you want to do something, you roll your eyes over. "what? "Don't tease." maybe he gave up trying, maybe there was a lack of a great invention in the world, and his self-confidence was hit to the bottom.

now without the littles with Cai Kangyong around, all the disdainful eyes and poisonous tongues look unlovable, on the contrary, they are a little impolite.

(4)

I remember that Wendy once retweeted a Weibo saying that my father never praised me when I was a child, and always said that he needed frustrating education to frustrate his sister. I don't know how these half-fooled education methods became so popular that they were still not confident even though they had become "other people's children".

self-confidence and self-abasement are more likely to be a person's subjective evaluation of themselves, no matter how many objectives horizontal comparison, maybe very NB or very mediocre because of your different subjective point of view. There are many ways to evaluate a person, and we can't use one or two simple indicators to evaluate.

We all know the truth, and the most pressing need in human nature is the desire to be affirmed. But why can't my concubine do it? Later, I thought that most of them could not do it for two reasons: one was that the practice of beauty was not deep enough, or that our understanding of beauty was too standardized. Big breasts and thin waist are beautiful, but so are flat bellies and tight muscles.

two is arrogant. I know you're good, but if I say it, you're better than me. I don't want it. I just don't want to make others comfortable.

as long as you are happy with the easy work.

(5)

of course, the premise of unsparing appreciation is that you really feel good, really appreciate, and sincerity can be perceived.

so basically now I miss someone, I will directly say to him, xx, I miss you, let's go out for dinner, there is no difference between men and women, there is no shyness and concealment because the person who receives the message will be equally happy. Hold back an obvious miss but deliberately say no of the plot is the last century you are the wind and I am the sand.

which friend did you dream about at night? if I wake up the next day, I will tell him, "Hey, I dreamt about you last night. How nice."