Don't say what you say, don't do what you want, and don't do things at will.

01

words

see a sentence on the Internet:

the expression of one's high EQ is that one speaks too much and does not indulge in one's language.

there is such a story.

the son of a peasant family in a mountain village was admitted to the university.

my father went to town to buy firecrackers and pork, celebrated with his son, and excitedly said, "your mother and I both graduated from primary school. We finally have a college student in Zhao's family, which is a real honor to our father." The son's dark face showed a bright smile.

the next day, the whole family took their son to the station and met acquaintances on the way.

the other party asked his son what university he was admitted to. As soon as the father gave his name, the acquaintance immediately showed contempt and said:

"I went to that university in vain, and I couldn't find a job at all after graduation. My son was admitted to a famous university, and after graduation, the package was allocated, and the big companies rushed to get it. " With that, he turned and left.

looking at the distant back of acquaintances, the eyes of the family suddenly dimmed, and the father turned around and found that his son's eyes were already filled with tears.

there is a line in Ode to Joy:

words and arrows, a casual remark that hurts a child's heart and destroys a family's hope.

speaking well is the greatest kindness of the human heart.

when writer Lin Qingxuan was in high school, he was recorded for naughty mistakes, and even stayed in school for probation. Many teachers regarded Lin Qingxuan as a typical bad student. Lin Qingxuan blurted out his criticisms in class. Lin Qingxuan always pretended not to care, to cover up the inner trauma.

the exception is Wang Yutang, a Chinese teacher. He never casually criticizes him in class. Instead, he invites Lin Qingxuan to dinner at home and seriously says to him, "after 50 years of teaching, I can see at a glance that you are a student who can achieve great things."

Lin Qingxuan was so moved by this that he began to forge ahead and eventually became a famous writer.

Plato said:

Smart people speak because they are thinking about reality, and their expressions are as warm as silk money, which benefits the listener a lot.

Fool people speak because they are unrestrained in the mouth, and their words are deeper than the spear and pierce the listener's heart.

Searching for a plus size mermaid prom dresses to make you a dazzling celebrity? This section is just for you – unique in every way.

speaking is an art, not speaking casually is a kind of wisdom.

in life, some people are outspoken, and eloquent, regardless of the feelings of others, but do not realize that the mouth is the spokesman of the heart, people who can not control the mouth, lack self-cultivation.

people with high EQ have long known that some things can't be done casually, and some words can't be said casually.

02

Don't follow your heart

there is a hot topic on Zhihu: "can people live at will?"

there is a high praise answer: "people can not live at will, all freedom is relative and needs to pay a price."

you like the freedom to travel, you need to pay desperately to make money independently;

you like the freedom to make up without makeup, and what you need to pay is to take care of your skin day after day. "

I think so.

Life is not a TV series, it's not what you want to do.

my friend Huihui often complains to me that he is too tired at work and wants to resign and become a travel blogger, shoot short videos and travel around the world while making money.

I thought it was just a joke, but he resigned last year. After three years of work, he saved 60,000 yuan and spent half of his savings on basic equipment such as sports cameras, SLRs, and stabilizers. In this way, with 30,000 yuan and a dream of travel, he embarked on a trip to Tibet.

before leaving, he also sent me Wechat:

however, it backfired. Although he worked hard to shoot videos along the way, he spent a lot of time shooting the beauty of the scenery due to his lack of experience. Coupled with rough clips and spicy copywriting, his Douyin videos received few likes at all.

what is even more frustrating is that as soon as he arrived in Daocheng Aden, it began to rain cats and dogs. Without an umbrella, he was drenched, had severe altitude sickness, and was finally forced to return.

but he didn't give up easily. After going home for rectification, he went to Dali, Chongqing, Hangzhou, and many other places. When the epidemic came at the beginning of the year, I asked him with concern how he was doing, and he humorously replied, "go out and sit on the green skin, sleep in the youth travel, and spend all your savings, but no one pays attention to the video."

the travel blogger's dream is completely disillusioned. He plans to look for a job again, but he hasn't been on duty for various reasons such as the epidemic, and now he is playing games at home.

it's not that easy to travel around the world, and it's not easy to make a video.

in many cases, we cannot choose to follow our hearts, because once we act blindly, we often fail to achieve the desired goal and have to pay a heavy price.

I have read such a sentence:

you think that following your heart is a kind of happiness, but it turns out to be an obstacle to happiness.

you think that following your heart is a kind of freedom, but it turns out to be the bondage of freedom.

there is a price behind everything. If you don't have capital, don't do whatever you want.

03

people are not free to do

as the ancients said, "A gentleman has something to do and something not to do."

you can't act at will. You should have principles and a bottom line.

then it is easier to know than to do, and reality often goes against one's wishes.

in the program "it is you", I was deeply impressed by a job seeker.

this man is of outstanding ability. He has been the top seller for three years and broke the record for the highest turnover of an enterprise. That's the one. It is very rare for excellent people to turn off all 12 lights in the first round of entrepreneur selection.

it turned out that to highlight his ability, the man told a very proud sales experience, but it backfired. It was this story that aroused everyone's disgust.

A man once sold a children's emotional commerce class worth 5,000 yuan to a sanitation worker with a monthly salary of 2,000 yuan. Originally, she had no intention to buy it. After a set of sales skills by the man, she finally bought the course for her 5-year-old child.

host Tu Lei was very angry and said:

forcibly sell high-price products that are not practical to low consumer groups, what you get is money, but what you lose is conscience.

A gentleman loves money and takes it wisely. You should make a lot of money and do what you want to do.

No matter how strong the ability is, if you can't keep the bottom line of being a man, you can't get a foothold in front of people.

No matter how high the skill is, if you can't keep the principle of doing things, you can't get everyone's approval.

"Mencius" Volume eight leaves Lou Zhang, there is a saying: "if a man does not do something, then he can do something."

you can't be a man at will. Only by keeping the bottom line of inaction can you do unlimited things.

04

Zi Gong asked Confucius, "who is virtuous, teacher or businessman?" Confucius said, "even a teacher is not as good as a businessman."

Zi Gong asked again, "but then the teacher will be better with you?" Confucius replied, "going too far is not as good as it is."

behave appropriately, do things with a bottom line, and go too far.

speak appropriately and don't say it out of your mouth. It often takes a long time to warm a person, but a casual word is enough to break a heart.

do things with principles and don't do whatever you want. The accumulation of capital often takes a long time, but from owning assets to liabilities, a random decision is enough.

there is a bottom line in being a human being. The cultivation of character often takes a long time, but from good to evil, casual greed is enough.

Life is a mirror. If you take it seriously, it will take you seriously.

when you are no longer casual about life, life will give you back your safety and happiness.