Do not argue, ignore, do not explain (good text in depth)

there is a very classic dialogue in Hanshan:

Hanshan asked Giddy: "how to deal with people in the world who slander me, deceive me, humiliate me, laugh at me, despise me, hate me, and deceive me?"

pick up and say: "just put up with him, let him, let him, avoid him, bear him, respect him, ignore him, stay a few more years, you can look at him."

take it for granted.

Life lasts only a few decades, and things are troublesome. We must learn to do things calmly and spend our time on things that are worth it.

for things around you, only by not arguing, ignoring and explaining can you understand the true meaning of life and become a person with a strong heart.

01

be a man with a pattern

there is such a story of "three seasons" in the Analects of Confucius.

one day, Zi Gong was cleaning the yard at the door. A guest came and asked Zi Gong, "are you a disciple of Confucius?"

Zi Gong said yes. The man asked, "then I'd like to ask you a question, may I?"

Zi Gong replied briskly, "good."

"Let me ask you, how many seasons are there in a year?"

"Spring, summer, autumn and winter are four seasons." Zi Gong answered with a smile.

"No, there are only three seasons a year!" The guest shook his head.

the two sides quarreled and decided to bet that if anyone was wrong, they would kowtow to each other three times.

Confucius heard it and went outside the courtyard, so they asked Confucius to evaluate it.

Confucius replied, "A year is indeed three seasons." Then let Zigong kowtow three times, and the guest left with satisfaction.

Zi Gong was puzzled afterwards and asked Confucius, "there are four seasons in a year. Why did you say there are three seasons in a year?"

Confucius said:

"didn't you see that man was green all over his body? He is a grasshopper, a grasshopper born in spring and dead in autumn. He has only experienced spring, summer and autumn in his life, but has never seen winter.

if you tell him about the three seasons, he will be satisfied, and there will be no result even if you talk about the quarrels of the four seasons till night. If you don't go along with him, can he leave so readily? "

as the saying goes: often argue with the same, not with fools. Arguing with a fool is not only time-consuming and laborious, but also ends up in a good mood.

the world is so big that there are all kinds of people. Not all people are reasonable. It is worth your energy to argue. There is no need for us to waste our time on meaningless things.

as the old saying goes: no argument is compassion, no argument is wisdom.

concession is not weakness, but an open-minded one. Those who do not reason with muddle-headed people, and who can be patient with bad people without arguing about bad things, are those who have a pattern.

the world of mortals is eventful and troublesome, but there is no dispute and is free in the world.

02

ignore it, be a wise person

friend

Xiao Ju is an optimistic and life-loving person, usually like to record life through good life photos and positive words in moments:

Today I bought a bouquet of flowers and felt that I had a room full of spring.

I went to see a musical today, enjoyed an audio-visual feast, and felt that my soul had been washed.

Today, when I went strawberry picking with my boyfriend, I felt that the air was pink all day.

to be honest, I like watching her circle of friends very much, beautiful and full of positive energy.

but recently, I haven't seen any updates to her moments. I only know when I ask. Recently, someone commented on her:

"show love, score quickly";

"pretending to be lofty, not pretending to be seen by others, but also musicals, pictures stolen on the Internet";

"posting moments all day long is really idle, without self-knowledge at all."

.

these comments made her care very much, and she couldn't let it go, and she never dared to post them on moments again.

Life, experiences like Xiao Ju can be found everywhere.

as the philosopher Schopenhauer said, "one of the most special weaknesses of human nature is that we care about what others think of us." A person who cares about the opinions of others will often be depressed, sad, and even have self-doubt when he is subjected to negative comments and malicious attacks.

but there are also some people who don't care what others think or what they think of themselves. on the contrary, such people will have a more free and confident life.

Zhou Guoping said: "I never care what other people think of me, because I know what I am. If a person is not sure about himself, it is easy to care about the opinions of others."

We should not live for what other people think. Ignore other people's gossip. Too much bitterness will only make you worry about others.

to deal with life, you just need to know what you know. After all, you have to measure your soul.

No matter what others think of it, we should always keep our hearts awake and firm our pursuit and yearning.

it is really wise to ignore malicious comments from the outside world.

03

No explanation, be a mature person

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Haruki Murakami said: "not all fish will live in the same sea."

in life, many people who have been with you come from different places and have different life circles, so they will naturally have different habits.

get along with it, there will be people who understand you will sympathize with you, and people who don't understand you will let you avoid.

when faced with misunderstandings and differences, the most mature solution is not to explain. Because people who understand you don't need to explain; they don't understand.Your people, you don't have to explain.

there is such a story in Huizi Xiangliang:

the chicks fly from the South China Sea to the North Sea, where non-sycamore trees do not inhabit, non-bamboo fruits do not eat, and non-sweet springs do not drink.

while the Harrier picked up a rotten mouse and saw the chick flying in front of it, thinking it was fighting for its own food, it hurriedly protected the rodent and yelled at it.

in the face of this misunderstanding, the chick did not explain, because he disdained to explain the kite at a different level from himself.

similarly, many misunderstandings in life do not need to be explained at all, because you should not waste your time on people who are at different levels from you and do not understand what you are after.

so the height of life is not how many things you see clearly, but how many things you despise.

the mountain does not explain its height, it still rises into the clouds;

the sea does not explain its own depth, it still holds all rivers;

the earth does not explain its own depth, but it is still the mother of all things.

Water depth is silent, man is silent.

mature people will lose their temper, know how to be patient, don't waste their energy and time on boring things, and won't explain their pursuits to people who don't understand.

after all, life is your own, and there is no need to explain it to others!

04

Human feelings are always so sophisticated and complicated.

there may be endless quarrels, malicious comments and slanders, or puzzles and misunderstandings around us. We can't decide their opinions, but we can be ourselves.

do things innocently, be magnanimous, learn to tolerate, be an indifferent person, watch the flowers blossom in front of the court, laugh at the joys and sorrows of the world!

after the vicissitudes of life and the baptism of years, may you still be calm and calm.

encourage!