Chinese education: my unfulfilled dream depends on my children to realize it.

1.

recently I was watching a play called | small parting |.

I feel sorry for watching it, because there are so many plots that it is my own life, and even when I watch it, I feel like "my mom is on TV".

"all love in the world is for reunion, only parents' love points to parting."  this is the slogan of parting from the show. After reading this sentence, it reminds me of the picture in Jiao Bo's "my parents". One of the parents' point of view is that what they did not achieve is hoped to get from their children: my parents do not have any culture, but their only dream is to cultivate an educated son like me on the land facing the loess.

this is the most acute problem in China at present: children in rural areas want to go to big cities and study hard in order to change their destiny in exchange for a better life; while children in cities, parents will also spend all their money on educating their children. The most classic way is that no matter whether they are rich or not, they all feel that going abroad is the best way of education, thinking that "the moon abroad is fuller than that at home."  A small separation refers to the sharp questions about money, education and class in real life.

2.

I remember very clearly that I once received a very poignant message backstage.

was left by a girl. She said that she had just graduated from college, and her family conditions were not very good, and her parents were ordinary working-class people. However, many people around her chose to go abroad, and she especially wanted to go abroad, but her family had no money. Even for the four years of college expenses, her parents had to live frugally and work very hard. She sometimes feels that she is "unlucky". Why she was not born in a rich family can allow her to study abroad.

for this message, on the one hand, I feel that this girl is too ignorant, but I seem to be able to understand the source of this girl's hypocrisy, because for children of this age, no matter whether they are sensible or not on the surface, but in my heart, they will be more or less competitive and jealous when others get some benefits from the family.  "Why do I have to work hard to change my life while others are born to live at ease?"

in the final analysis, after tenderness, it is still because of money.

in the seventh episode of parting, Jin Zhiming, a taxi driver, said,  the boss of other people's company has money, and if we don't have money, we have to accept our fate.

from this sentence, in fact, there is such an abnormal value: the rich children in the family have all gone abroad. Or those who can go abroad are those with good family conditions. And now many Chinese families generally have such a value: they think that going abroad is gilded, and that the children who come back from the country are better than those at home.

in fact, these are all worth considering.

because I don't know when, going abroad has become a standard to measure whether a child is excellent or not.  because now we can always hear such a saying: they have come back from abroad. There are even many elders who think that when a child is looking for a partner, the other person who "comes back from abroad" gets extra points.

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3.

about going abroad, give an example.

is a classmate of mine from university. I won't mention my name here in order to protect my privacy. Now, a year after graduation, he has not been looking for a job. His father came to Beijing to work for him. He was middle-class in his hometown, but he was paid when he came to Beijing. The pressure was especially great and he was marginalized. His father once talked to him and said that it would cost about NT $200000 to study in England for a year. He said that if he went to study for a year and came back to find a job, he would give him a long face, and he had to let him go even if he borrowed money. However, the boy did not want to go abroad, he had his own entrepreneurial ideas, and then he told his father that if he had no ability, it was useless to go abroad, so there was no need to let himself live so hard. But his father was adamant, and there was a deep contradiction between the two, which has been irreconcilable until now.

Class is a particularly interesting topic, especially for middle-aged people in their forties, who have been fooling around for half of their lives, and a lot of unhappiness comes from money.

every age group has something to show off.

for example, children in their 20s like to show off their girlfriends and girlfriends.  whether they are good-looking or not is a very honorable thing, especially long faces.

people in their 30s will show off their careers.  if they have a stable job or a career of their own, it is the supreme thing that represents their own ability;

people in their 40s and 50s will show off their children.  if their children are excellent, it is a meritorious service that they have lived for half their lives and a victory in education.

people in their 30s will show off their careers.  if they have a stable job or a career of their own, it is the supreme thing that represents their own ability.

therefore, at parties with our elders, we can always hear such a conversation:

-"my child goes to school abroad",

-"Ah, your child is very good."

going abroad conveys two meanings in the minds of many older people:

1. I have enough money to prove my social status.

2. Children are good enough, their own education is good, prove their own way of education, and let others affirm themselves and their children.

going abroad conveys two meanings in the minds of many young people:

1. People who can go abroad are rich at home, and they will unconsciously have a sense of superiority to those who often talk about going abroad.

2. To go abroad is to learn something better than at home.

this is a class self-certification process. However, for many children who go abroad, some are not necessarily their own choice, but some will be very eager to go abroad. This is easy to give rise to a lot of contradictions between parents and children.  "going abroad" has become a choice made by many people and families in order to prove their strength. On the one hand, for working-class families: they are sent abroad in order to "get a better education" and then live a "better life"; on the other hand, families who are not short of money will think that since they have this ability, then they should let their children receive a better education, and going abroad is a better education.

4.

the play puts aside the warm cloak of the parent-child family and directly pokes at the real topic.

sometimes we have heard our parents say things like this.  pointed to the garbage pickers on the street and said to us, "you see, if you don't study hard, you will pick up garbage on the street like him when you grow up.  some parents will also say,  you don't know how hard life is for the working class. You are the hope of the whole family. Parents are counting on you. You must study hard."  there are also some parents' remarks, for example,  you have to take a good exam, there is no one in our family, and you can only rely on yourself.  only if you are admitted to a key middle school can you be admitted to a 211985 prestigious university, and you can change your fate, otherwise your life will be over. These are very classic sentences from Chinese parents.

the anxiety of the working class,  is the realization of their unfinished wishes through their children, and children's getting ahead is the only hope of changing their social class;

the anxiety of the middle class,  is to maintain elegant social status, to let children become the face of the family, word-of-mouth is very important. Although it is more than lower than above, I still hope to be able to take a step forward and seek stability in everything.

the anxiety of the rich class  is not only to have money, but also to let children receive the best education, and will consider avoiding China's educational choice to go abroad, so as to make children's education easier and less competitive, and the ultimate goal is to join the upper class.

but this may not be agreed by the children.

there is a saying in the American TV series:  "We spend our whole lives waiting for our parents to apologize to us for certain choices, while they spend their whole lives waiting for us to say thank you." In the end, none of us can get what we want. "

I have friends who come back from abroad and are still unable to find a job because of lack of ability and work experience.

but friends who are not from prestigious universities in China are not poor.

therefore, going abroad is not a necessary condition to prove whether a person is good or not, but ability.

in the small separation,  families of three classes all have different perspectives and views on going abroad. Here, we will not do too much drama through. Brother Yue put the first episode of  small separation  for everyone to feel, and then the link to watch the play is placed in  read the original . You can read and experience it, and then express your own views.

about "you can be better outside the country", and "looking for a partner to see your family first",

do you have any opinions? write them in the comments section.