Children "have no grievances", parents "have no responsibilities"

"Lu's Spring and Autumn" talks about the relationship between parents and children, saying:

"one but two, the same spirit but different breath. Save each other from pain and illness, feel sad about each other, love each other in life and mourn each other in death. This is called flesh and blood. "

parents and children are undoubtedly the people closest to each other.

there is no relationship in the world that can transcend the fetter that blood is thicker than water.

specifically, there are three reasons for being a child and four irresponsibility for being a parent.

01

as children, they don't complain about their parents' mediocrity.

there is a saying in Zhu Zi's Family motto: "valuing wealth, belittling parents, not becoming a child."

means that if a person has only interests in his eyes, so he dislikes his parents in every way, then he is disqualified as a child.

No one can choose their own origin.

some people always complain about their parents' incompetence and feel that their original family is a drag on him, which is not the truth of being a child.

as the saying goes, "the son does not dislike his mother's ugliness, and the dog does not dislike his family's poverty."

our parents gave us life and took great pains to bring us up.

No matter poor or rich, they always try their best to give their children the best life.

even if parents do not have amazing achievements and do not even leave any wealth to their children, they should also be grateful.

parents should always be treated with respect, not resentment.

Children should make their own efforts to enable their parents to live a better life.

do not blame parents for being slow

the Book of Rites says: "A filial son who loves deeply must have kindness, those who are gentle must have a pleasant color, and those who have a pleasant color must have Wanrong."

the hardest thing about filial piety to parents is to be patient at all times.

the hardest thing about filial piety is to be patient at all times.

when parents are old, what they need most is the patience of their children.

when we were children, our parents fed us and dressed us.

parents are old, their hands and feet are not flexible, and their thinking is not active.

We should also be patient with what they cannot understand or do.

this is human nature and the cycle of life.

I don't blame my parents for being verbose.

there is a saying in the words of Confucius: "good medicine is good for disease, and good advice is good for deeds."

parents all over the world want their children to be happy and safe all their lives.

in the process of their children growing up, they always have too much advice and too much entrustment.

these seemingly wordy words are full of the wisdom of the elder's life.

even if parents do not have much education, they still hope to educate their children with the most simple principles: follow the right path, do good deeds, and be good people.

as the saying goes, "if you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer."

in the face of their parents' instructions, some people keep in mind and benefit for the rest of their lives;

others turn a deaf ear and wait until they hit the south wall to regret it.

only biological parents wish you well with all their heart.

Don't complain about your parents. This advice is a rare blessing in the world.

02

parents

many people mistakenly think that "educating a child in person" is to educate a child in public so that he can learn a lesson, but it is not.

this sentence means that if the child has made a mistake, correct him in time, so that he will be impressed.

as the saying goes, "the ugliness of the family must not be made public."

Don't tell outsiders about your child's mistakes in public.

things at home, the family slowly solve the problem behind closed doors.

Children are dignified no matter how young they are, and blaming the godson in public violates the godson's intention.

on the contrary, it is easy to arouse children's rebellious emotions, and parents will lose their children's trust as a result.

then irresponsible

there is a famous Pygmalion effect in psychology.

roughly speaking, people unconsciously accept the influences and cues of the people around them.

every time parents turn over their old debts, it is a negative psychological implication to their children.

will make children feel that no matter how hard they try, they will not be able to correct their past mistakes.

therefore, teach children not to make up for the past.

after the punishment, let the matter turn the page.

the loss outweighs the gain by letting the child keep paying for past mistakes.

when Liang Qichao was six years old, he was beaten by his mother for lying.

the Liang family has always been a loving mother and a strict father.

therefore, although Liang Qichao has changed, he is still worried that his father will know about it.

when Liang's mother saw that Liang Qichao had known repentance, she did not tell Father Liang, and this was a thing of the past.

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Zuo Zhuan says: "if you know your mistakes, you can correct them."

to educate children, we must let them know and correct their mistakes in the process of growing up.

if children are aware of their mistakes and are willing to correct them, parents should stop and not cling to them.

listen irresponsibly

there is a saying in Zhu Zi's Family motto: "listen to what you have to say and know that you are not a human being." Be patient and think twice. "

means that when you hear a complaint, you are gullible without judgment.

listening and believing, rashly blaming the child will only make the child suffer grievances in vain.

A clever and sensible child is naturally loved, but a naughty and reckless child should also be cared for.

as a parent, you must be calm and calm when something happens. You can't always ask questions.The question was furious with the child.

especially when your own children are in conflict with other people's children, don't be biased because of face.

be patient, communicate with your child face to face, and verify carefully behind your back.

We don't tolerate our children's mistakes, but we can't let them take the blame for no reason.

trust your child before you can teach him to stick to right and wrong.