A really good husband will help his wife with the housework

01

I once saw a video called "I never help my wife". The content of the video is mainly a husband's self-account:

A friend came to my house for coffee, and we talked about life and ideals together. At the end of the conversation, I said to him, "wait a minute, I'll wash the dishes!"

he looked at me with an exaggerated expression, as if I was going to build a spaceship, and then said in a tone of admiration and frustration, "I admire you for helping your wife. I don't even help my family right now."

every time I do it, she won't thank me. I mopped the floor last week and she didn't say a word of thanks. "

I sat back and explained to him, "actually, I never help my wife!" In fact, my wife doesn't need help at all-she needs a partner.

I never help my wife clean up, because I live here, too. I should have done it.

I never help my wife cook, because I am also hungry, so I should do it myself.

I never help my wife wash the dishes, because I also use those bowls, so I have the obligation to do the dishes.

I never help my wife take care of the children, because that is also my child, I am the father of the child, so I should take care of the child!

I am not "who does housework for", because I am a part of this family!

it takes you a long time to mop the floor at home and expect a warm compliment and thanks. But did you say thank you to your wife for mopping the floor, washing clothes, cooking and taking care of the children at home every day?

maybe in the traditional view that the man is on the outside and the woman is on the inside, this should be her duty.

maybe men are taught from an early age to earn money to support their families, but should we really ignore family matters?

doing these housework means that we are real partners, not a guest, and come home just to meet all kinds of food and drink needs!

02

the real change in society should start at home!

in today's marriage in China, nanny wives, widowed parenting, widowed marriages and other phenomena can be found everywhere. Many people are confused and confused about this. What on earth are we marrying for?

Jin Dong's answer in the TV series "the first half of my Life" is: because life is difficult, we need a person to be in the same boat.

just like the husband in the short video, we don't need the spare power to remember the guests who give us a hand in our marriage. what we need are partners who can help each other and move forward side by side.

in essence, marriage is an economic community; children need to be raised together; when their careers are at a low ebb, they support each other; when they need help, they give you strength behind your back! Be each other's companion, listener and responder!

therefore, the best ending of love is to turn marriage into a boat and take both of them to the other side.

03

A well-known American writer Joan Anderson once wrote a book entitled "A good woman, run away from Home", advocating that as mothers, women must have their own small holidays.

even from a small moment, you need to take a break from work and housework and really save some time for yourself.

because of natural motherhood and social expectations, it is easy for novice mothers to unconsciously fall into a "selfless" mode after entering this role.

mothers tend to devote themselves to excessive and endless love for their children. And this is too scary for the mother, the child, or the whole family.

there is a typical Chinese mother around me. She has a strong character and wants to be the best in everything. After giving birth, she made almost every effort to balance her family and career.

since she gave birth to the baby, she recorded the baby's milk time with a small notebook every day, bathed the baby, listened to music and wiped her belly button within a fixed period of time according to expert advice.

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but I'm just grabbing food, taking a shower and taking a nap. After the end of maternity leave, she enters another "state of tension" as soon as she gets off work every day.

she insists on grandma taking parenting notes and checking them strictly as soon as she gets off work. After that, I will continue to follow the schedule and spare no effort to tell stories, make supplementary food, and go to early education to my children.

her husband felt sorry for her and was tired, and she refused to suggest that she should resign and concentrate on being a stay-at-home mother.

she doesn't want to stay at home as a housewife, she pursues her career and life.

04

well, it's a good way to ask a babysitter to help take care of the children.

it's just that in the process of choosing a babysitter, the couple were scared to raise their standards again and again by various reported child abuse cases, and finally gave up the idea completely under the blow of the Greentown arson case.

it is also possible to ask the elders to look after the children, but how can the elderly continue to work hard since they have worked hard all their lives?

so after the child was weaned, she and her husband firmly sent their grandmother back to their hometown for the rest of their life, saying only that they would ask the old man for a hand if they were too busy, but they refused to leave the child with the old man again.

the couple discussed several times and decided that the mother would take care of the children on weekdays, while the father would take care of the housework on weekends, leaving time and space for the mother to rest.

helpless, she always feels that her husband, a man, is too careless in doing housework and not taking good care of his children, so she can't help but push her husband to do it himself. This is good, and the pressure is all on her.

but as far as I know, her five-year-old daughter is not "grateful" now. instead, she often cries loudly at home, is naughty and rebellious, and once said, "what I hate most is my mother."

and was once distressedHer husband, who has been working hard day and night, now only shouts "Don't be busy" verbally, and doesn't see doing the work herself. Why?

because a mother who sacrifices herself completely puts pressure on her children and family, and these pressures will eventually return to her family.

05

when her husband offers to help, she should not simply and rudely take her place because she is not doing well. Doing so will only make it impossible for her husband to learn the right practice and make him lose the motivation to share housework.

she still feels that her husband is just doing her a favor, but forgets that husband and wife are a whole, and these things are her husband's duty. She always pushes her husband away and seems to regard him as an outsider.

of course, in Chinese society, the thinking of men and women is still mainstream, so as long as any husband can help his wife with housework, he can be a good husband.

but in my opinion, marriage should be an interactive system. Husband and wife are mutually supportive and cooperative in marriage, and two people are equal.

if either couple only regards marriage as a sign of falling in love, becomes a shopkeeper after marriage and pays no attention to the other, then the marriage will certainly not have a happy ending.

in fact, a good family relationship is not that the partner is always a child who does not grow up, and the child is always a child to be fed, but that everyone can grow up and achieve with each other in this relationship.

the ideal marriage should be two maturing individuals, making the husband and wife into an inseparable whole, which is the greatest significance of marriage.